


Unforgivable

by julisdreams



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha Magnus Bane, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, CEO Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Ending, Health Issues, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Ill Character, Kid Fic, Lawyer Alec Lightwood, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Alec Lightwood, PBBS - Post Bondbreak Syndrom, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Post Mpreg, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy, talk about abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 13:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17623118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julisdreams/pseuds/julisdreams
Summary: To say he was shocked when he found out that he was pregnant was putting it lightly. He knew Magnus wouldn’t want this child. And Alec… Alec knew that he never, ever wanted to lose Magnus. But he also couldn’t kill something that was a part of them both. Therefore, he went away. He gave birth to their son, a child Alec never laid his eyes upon and Magnus would never know about.And so he gave their son away.OR: Keeping secrets is never a good idea.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!
> 
> I'm super excited to share this story with you. If you like it, please leave a comment or a kudo. Other than that, enjoy the ride, it will be a bumpy one (consider yourself warned!)

Alec had known from the first moment he laid eyes on Magnus that he would play a mayor role in his life. They met in college, Alec studying for his degree in law and Magnus in marketing and event management. It wasn’t love at first sight, Alec would never dare to say that, but nevertheless – from the first moment on there was something there. Magnus and Alec became fast friends and after Magnus broke up with Camille even more.

Magnus was Alec’s first in many things. His first crush on an alpha. His first kiss, and first and hopefully – at least in Alec’s perspective – only love of his life. After graduating, the two of them as well as Alec’s siblings and a bunch of their friends moved from New York to Alicante, Alec’s hometown.

Everything was picture-perfect. Sometimes Alec wondered whether that had been the reason why eventually everything that he had built for himself – his job, his life with Magnus, his _fiancé_ – had to crash and collapse in such a catastrophic way. Sometimes he wondered, if he had decided against his and Magnus child in a different way than he had done, if everything would still be the same. Picture-perfect and without such a huge scratch that he was sure no one would ever be able to fix it.

. . . 

“Alec, don’t you at least want to hold him once?”, Izzy asked. She was standing next to him, still holding the small bundle. Hesitating to come closer as if she didn’t know how he would react.

Pain was shooting through Alec, both physically and mentally. He wanted to hold this child, _their_ child so desperately, but he couldn’t. It already hurt so much, he couldn’t handle more.

“No. Please Izzy, just take it away, like you promised. Please,” he begged and turned his head away when he heard a distressed whimper coming from the bundle in his sister’s hands.

“Alec-“, Izzy started, but he stopped her.

“No Izzy! I- I _don’t_ want to see him ok?  This is already hard enough as it is. Just… Just take him away, ok? Make sure that he gets a nice family”, Alec murmured and tried not to listen when Izzy sighed, clearly defeated, and went to the door. “I’ll be back before the sun sets. Call me if you need anything, big bro.” She hesitated one last time, then added: “I love you.”

“Me too”, Alec whispered and tried to blink back the tears that threatened to leave his eyes.

He had heard about how hard it was for an omega to give away a child a few times, but he had never imagined the actual pain in such a strong and devastating way. All he could think about was his boy, his sweet little child. He tried to breathe deeper, tried to forget about this part of himself that he was so willingly sacrificing for the love of his life.

Magnus, his fiancé – if Alec could still call him that after walking away from him the day before their wedding without an explanation, only a short note stating that he needed time. Time to think about this big step in his, in their life. But that was never really an issue for Alec, simply an excuse.

Alec loved his alpha with all his heart and he was sure that Magnus felt the same about him. When Magnus first told him that he never wanted to have children Alec was disappointed, but after a while he got over it. Maybe it was better his way, he told himself. That way they could concentrate on themselves and their careers. He really thought that he had accepted it, to never have children with Magnus.

To say he was shocked when he found out that he was pregnant was putting it lightly. He knew Magnus wouldn’t want this child. And Alec… Alec knew that he never, ever wanted to lose Magnus. But he also couldn’t kill something that was a part of them both. Therefore, he went away. He gave birth to their son, a child Alec never laid his eyes upon and Magnus would never know about.

And so he gave their son away.

Because, Alec might be an omega and omegas were known to love and protect their children with all that they had, but he also loved Magnus. And if Alec had to walk away from the alpha for a while to cover up this child’s birth - this child, that never should have existed in the first place - so that he didn’t endanger his relationship with Magnus…

Then Alec would do that.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Your feedback to the prologue has been amazing, thank you sooo much. As you might have seen, I've updated the tags. I might update them again at a later point. 
> 
> And now, please enjoy the first chapter. It's a little bit longer than I thought it would be, but well... happens, I guess ;)

Alec was sitting on the porch. He had put a blanket around his shoulders to keep himself warm, but still, after a while it got cold. Staring at his smartphone display, he tapped it every 30 seconds to keep the contact lit up. His heart felt heavy.

Magnus was grinning up to him from the picture he had put to his contact. Alec wanted to press the call button _so_ desperately. Biting his lip, he blinked away the wetness in his eyes. His body still ached after giving birth a few hours previously. Maybe he should have stayed in bed like Izzy had urged him to, but the smell in the hut had gotten to him. It smelled so much like his little boy…

Breathing was hard suddenly. Alec tried to calm himself down again. His fingers were shaking. The phone nearly slipped from his fingers. In a hast moment he grabbed it and nearly dialled Magnus. No, he wasn’t ready for that yet.

He yearned to be close to Magnus again. To hear his voice again and feel the slight touch of his fingertips when he traced Alec’s jaw line. It hurt so much to be separated from his alpha. But he would go back to Alicante soon. Alec tried to smile at that thought. Soon.

And, maybe a short call wouldn’t be so bad…

Just to hear his voice again…

The sound of an approaching vehicle brought Alec back to the present. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw that it was Izzy who was coming back from New York. “Alec!”, she shouted as soon as she stepped out of the car and closed the door. “What are you doing out here!? You should be in bed and not out here. It’s to cold for you, what if you get sick?”

A fire was shining in her eyes. Alec knew his sister well enough that he better not argued with her. He tried to get out of the chair, but his legs struggled to cooperate. Pain shot through his abdomen and the lower half of his body. Hissing, Alec grabbed the side of the chair.

“Alec!”, Izzy sighed. “Let me help you. You really should rest, you know.” Slowly they made their way back into the hut. Alec’s nose tickled as soon as he took his first breath of the air inside the hut. He swallowed and pressed his lips together.

_‘Keep it together!’_ , he scolded himself.

With a lot of care Izzy helped him to lie back in the bed. Even though she put new blankets on the bed, the scent of his child was still lingering and assaulting his senses. “Did… did everything go as planned? Did you bring him to New York?”, he asked, trying to distance himself from his own feelings.

Izzy put the blanket around his neck but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Izzy!”, he urged.

“He’s in safe hands now”, she said. Sitting down at Alec’s side Izzy straightened out some wrinkles in the fabric of the blanket. Alec let out a sigh of relief. A heavy weight was lifted from his chest. At least his boy was in good hands.

“Maybe… Maybe I should call Magnus later on. Tomorrow? I mean it’s a bit late now. But tomorrow, before he goes to the office”, Alec started to wonder. A small smile started to spread on his lips.

“Alec”, Izzy said slowly and took the phone from his hands. “Don’t you think it would be better to recover from all of this first? I mean, you just gave birth this morning. Let’s stay here for a week and then we will see ok?” Izzy finally looked Alec in the eyes, pleading him to agree to her request.

Just thinking about staying separated from Magnus for one more week hurt like hell, but he couldn’t even walk five metres in one go without a break or the help of his sister. On the other hand, staying in his family’s hut any longer… He had stayed there for the last six months of his life. His… His baby grew in his stomach in that house. He gave birth here. It hurt to still be here, to smell the air he had shared with his child.

It wouldn’t hurt to stay here a week longer. Just to really heal and process all of what had happened in the last half a year of his life. “Okay”, he mumbled and put his hand on Izzy’s. She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Everything will be alright now, Izzy. I can feel it”, Alec said.

“I hope so brother. I really hope so”, Izzy mumbled.

. . .

For the first few days after giving birth he mostly focussed on staying in bed and resting. When he finally was able to stand up and walk again without crippling pain running through his body, he started to pack up his things. Now, after the agreed one week Alec wanted to get back to his old life. He already had said good bye to everything he associated with the hut.

After Izzy had left for work the day before he had taken the after birth that Izzy had kept for him in the fridge and buried it behind the hut. He had cried while doing it, Alec wouldn’t renounce that.

“I’m coming!”, Izzy said and appeared in the doorframe of the hut. A bag hung over her shoulder. She shut the door behind herself and locked it.

“Let’s go back home”, Alec mumbled to her when she started the engine. He looked out of the window. Alec was leaving behind an important part of his life. A part that would have to stay hidden forever. “I’m going to call him as soon as we are back”, Alec declared.

“Alec”, Izzy started.

He sighed and turned his head away from the window and faced her. “What?”

Izzy visibly swallowed. “Alec, I know you can’t wait to contact Magnus, but have you ever really thought about what to do if Magnus doesn’t want to see you again?”, she asked.

“We’ve had this conversation countless times already, Izzy”, Alec mumbled and started playing with his fingers. “Magnus and I… We belong together. And I’m not giving up on him this easily!”

“If you say so brother”, Izzy said and gave in. Alec grumbled to himself, then he continued to look out of the window. Spring was just starting. The first trees were beginning to spread their new leaves towards the still rather weak sunlight. The grass was finally turning a lush green again. Alec smiled to himself thinking about the last spring. Magnus had proposed to him after a weekend full of little gifts and a candle light dinner on their balcony.

Magnus had been old-fashioned that way. He’d put the ring in Alec’s dessert and went down on one knee after Alec had nearly bitten out a tooth. They had both cried tears of joy when Alec had said yes. Their friends and Alec’s family had been overjoyed after receiving the news. Alec had been a little bit sad that Magnus didn’t have a family that could have joined in on the celebrations but his alpha was an orphan. Magnus didn’t like to talk about his dead family or his past before he immigrated from Indonesia to the US.

Alec didn’t pressure him into talking about it. He could feel that his past hurt Magnus. And Magnus knew that he could always talk to Alec about everything when he was ready.

“By the way, reach behind you, I’ve got all your alibi stuff with me”, Izzy said and pointed behind them. “I mean, you weren’t seriously going to tell Jace and the others that you’ve been on a _self discovery trip_ in South America!”

Alec reached behind his seat and got hold of a large folder. “What is so bad about South America? It wasn’t such a bad idea!”, he tried to defend himself. Izzy snorted and looked at him for a second before she refocused on the road. There wasn’t much traffic, it was rather early in the day. Rush hour was already over, but it was before the time where crazy parents sped off to collect their children from school or kindergarten.

“Seriously. I could have totally sold that story”, Alec grumbled. Izzy didn’t look impressed. She merely raised an eyebrow.

“No, you wouldn’t have been able to. First, you are a terrible liar and secondly, you don’t speak any Spanish. At all. You know nothing about the places you would claim you’ve been to and also… Magnus has been to Peru, he would know if you’ve been there or not. And your skin is too light to have been on the Southern part of the globe in the last few months. It was summer there until recently, dummie!”

Alec flabbergasted a little bit. “But-“, he started, but Izzy interrupted him.

“No _buts_! You can be glad that you have me, big bro. Now, read the folder”, she said and a little smile played around her lips. Alec hesitated for a second. He wanted to argue with Izzy about her faith in him and his fake-story, but he knew that she was right. If he was being honest then he had to admit that during his time away from Alicante he hadn’t really thought about what to tell Magnus and his family and friends about where he had been for the last half a year that he had been gone.

It had hurt too much to thing about what he had left behind so he had concentrated on the present. Alec looked at the folder in his lap and opened it. Before he could start to read the first page, his nose started to tickle. He sneezed twice. Izzy sighed. “I told you that you would get ill from sitting outside after just giving birth!”

Alec decided to ignore her in favour of focussing on the folder. He scanned the first few pages of it. “Vancouver, Canada. Really, Izzy?”, he asked her and continued to read through the files.

“What? It’s perfect! We all know that you always wanted to go to Vancouver and stay there for a while. I have a friend there and if someone ever decided to dig a little bit deeper, they will find out that you stayed in a small apartment in their house and that you taught some kids in archery. Also, you know a lot about the places there because you were researching it as a possible honeymoon destination.”

“Mhm”, Alec mumbled, but he had to agree. It was a good solution. “Since when did you have that planned?”

“Oh Alec”, Izzy chuckled. “Since the start. I do know you since I was born so of course I knew you wouldn’t have a head for something like that when we came up with this cover-up plan. Which – by the way – I still think is a bad idea. You really should have told Magnus about you being pregnant in the first place.”

Alec froze when he heard her. He remembered the night when he had decided to tell Magnus that he was pregnant. He had wanted to tell his alpha, but then he had come back home from dinner with some of his friends. And what he had said about them expecting their first child, how relieved he had been to never ever have children himself…

“You know I wanted to tell him. You also know why I didn’t”, Alec said in a whisper. Izzy placed her right hand on his.

“Yes Alec, I know”, she said, understanding shining in her eyes. “We’re nearly there. Are you ready to be back in Alicante? I’ve warned Simon that you would come back today and stay with us for a while. He’s promised not to tell anyone that you are back, but you know how he is. I wouldn’t be surprised if Clary and Jace are already standing in front of our doorstep”, Izzy said and laughed.

Alec had to smile too. His sister’s boyfriend was a nerd in his opinion and he also couldn’t keep anything a secret. At least not for long. Alec didn’t even want to imagine how exactly Izzy had persuaded Simon not to tell everyone that Alec was somewhere close by. Of course, he didn’t know about his… _situation_ , but still. Rather impressive, even for Izzy.

“I really hope he was able to keep his mouth shut. For his own sake”, Alec grumbled. Izzy laughed again.

“Well, we’ll see. If we are lucky, he might even have cooked something for lunch.” Alec saw the sign of Alicante in front of them. A few more minutes and he was finally back home.

“If he made lasagne, I might even forgive him if Clary and Jace are there to bombard me with questions”, he said. It was somehow strange to be back in his hometown. Everything kind of looked the same way it did when he had left, but he knew that wasn’t true.

Maybe the place still looked the same, but at least the people were different. There would have been fights and festivities, happy and sad occasions and the general gossip of such a small town that he had missed out on. And Alec himself was different too. There were six months of his life that were missing to these people. And missing to Magnus as well.

Alec’s hand crept to the phone in his trouser pocket. Soon, he would call him soon. Alec rubbed his hand over his face. He counted the houses and corners they were passing until Izzy parked in front of a four-story building. Simon and Izzy were living on the second floor. “No sight of Clary and Jace so far”, Alec mumbled before he opened the passenger side door.

“Don’t get your hopes up too early!”, Izzy scolded him. They went to the backside of the car and got Alec’s stuff out. He had to hide a smile when he saw the flight stickers on the handle of his backpack.

“Do I even want to know where you got these?”, he asked.

“I have friends everywhere, big bro. You should be used to it already”, was Izzy’s answer. Alec shook his head a little before he grabbed another bag. He was still a tender and sore from giving birth a week ago. It would also take him a while to get back to his pre-pregnancy shape. His six pack was non-existent at the moment.

“Izzy, quick smell check”, Alec said and stood closer to his sister.

She sniffed the air next to his neck and closed her eyes for a second. “Everything okay. The scent inhibitors are working. No one will know a thing from your smell. Let’s get inside before someone sees you and will get the rumour mill started before you’re ready for that”, Izzy said and they made their way inside.

Simon was waiting for them at the door. He looked at Alec reluctantly. Then his eyes switched from him to Izzy and back to Alec. Simon’s shoulders went up and Alec expected the worst. Izzy seemed to have gotten the same impression.

“Simon, what did you do?”, she asked lowly.

“Alec!”

Alec flinched when he heard the ear-piercing scream from within the flat. _‘Well, shit’_ , he thought. _‘So much for arriving in peace and quiet.’_

“I knew you couldn’t keep your mouth shut”, Alec hissed half-heartedly and walked past Simon.

“Hello and welcome back to you too Alec. Haven’t missed your sarcasm _at all_ ”, Simon muttered and helped Izzy with his bags. Alec didn’t really have the time to look around the flat or even put down his luggage. Jace was storming out of the living room and straight into his arms. They hugged each other for a long while. Alec hadn’t seen Jace for half a year as well.

“What the hell, bro”, Jace grumbled and let go of Alec reluctantly. “Next time you give us a fair warning before you decide to take off, yeah?” Alec grinned, but nodded. It was so good to be back.

“Missed you too”, he mumbled and inhaled his brother’s so familiar alpha scent. A movement from the kitchen caught his eyes. He swallowed reluctantly and separated himself from Jace a little bit. “Clary”, he said, but didn’t really meet her eyes. His brother’s mate was one of Magnus’ best friends. This wouldn’t be an easy confrontation.

Clary was standing in the hallway, arms crossed. Her face didn’t show any kind of emotion, but her omega scent spiked a little bit when they looked each other in the eyes. “Alec, how nice of you to finally decide to show up again”, she said, and Alec could hear the strictly contained anger seeping into her voice. It was silent for a few seconds before Simon decided to break through the uncomfortable atmosphere.

“So, why don’t we all go to the kitchen and eat something. I’ve made lasagne. Alec, you can tell us a little bit about where you’ve been, alright?”

Alec smiled at that, because – duh – lasagne and also because Izzy was damn right with the South America – Vancouver solution. He never could have played out his own idea.

“Yes, I really want to hear where you have been all this time”, Jace said and dragged Alec along with him. The others followed them slowly and Simon started to cut the lasagne. Clary was still brooding, and Alec hoped he could talk to her for a second without the others.

He talked some about his fake trip to Vancouver with a few additions from Izzy. She also helped him to switch the topic from himself to what he had missed while he was gone. Apparently, it was not that much, at least. Their parents where off to San Francisco for a business trip and would be back in about three weeks. One of their old school teachers had died in December, but that was it.

While Izzy and Simon did the dishes, Alec took the opportunity to talk to Clary. “If this is about me not telling Magnus that you are back you sure as hell can bet that I will not keep that a secret from him”, Clary snapped at him. They were standing in the hallway to be able to talk without the others interrupting.

Alec took a deep breath. “I’m not asking you to do that. I just want to ask you to give me the chance to talk to him first. I want to call him today and see if he wants to meet up with me. We have a lot to talk about”, he said.

Clary bit her lip. “Okay. I will give you that.”

Alec’s shoulders slumped down with relief.

“Don’t be happy tot early, Alec. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to call him. Magnus… He didn’t take it lightly when you left. You really hurt him Alec. I think it would have been best if you hadn’t come back at all. He just got back on his feet again”, she announced before she left him standing in the hallway.

It hurt. Hearing those words coming from one of his alpha’s best friends. Because he knew that they held some truth. Alec couldn’t wait till Jace and Clary left, and Simon and Izzy weren’t paying attention to him so that he could unpack his bags in peace. He snatched his phone from the kitchen table and shut himself in the bathroom of his sister’s flat.

His fingers stared sweating as soon as he clicked on his contact list. Magnus from the photo smiled at him and it helped Alec to press the call button.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !PLEASE READ NOTE BEFORE CHAPTER!
> 
> First appearance of Magnus in this chapter.  
> So, I didn't want to say anything, but now I think it's important that I add a short info from me here and not only in the replies of your comments. Several people have expressed how much they don't understand how Alec could give away their child and that Magnus should hate him when he finds out and some other, not so nice stuff. All I want to say to that at this point is that you should not forget that there are always two sides of a coin and trust me when I say that Alec had a pretty good reason not to tell Magnus that he was pregnant.   
> Now, please keep that in mind and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

A familiar voice answered the phone after a few rings.

“This is Magnus, hello?”

Alec’s breath hitched. It was the first time in over six months that he heard him speak.

“Hello?”, Magnus repeated.

Shaking, Alec breathed in. “M… Magnus, it’s me… Alec.”

It was quiet on the other side for a long time. Finally, there’s an answer. “That you even dare to- What do you want, Alexander?” It was nothing more than a hiss and Alec flinched back when he heard his name coming from Magnus’ mouth in such a way. He swallowed.

“I’m back. I… I just wanted to tell you that. And maybe, if we could meet? To talk, you know.”

A harsh laugh sounded through the phone. “Why would I want to see or talk to you, hm? It’s been what – six months. Six fucking months since you left me without a reasonable explanation. Do you really think I will just forget all of that?”, Magnus shouted.

“I… I really am sorry, please let me explain”, Alec begun, but Magnus interrupted him.

“So, explain it to me. Now! What was so important that you didn’t even have the balls to tell me that you didn’t want to marry me?”

Alec hesitated. “I-“

“ _´I`_ what, Alexander? I thought you wanted to explain it to me. So, I’m waiting. Where is your great explanation?”, Magnus asked, and Alec could hear the hurt in his voice. He closed his eyes and held on to the bathtub.

“Not like this. Please, let me explain it to you in person, Magnus. Please”, he whispered.

Magnus scoffed. “Leave me alone. I… I can’t think about this right now. Please, don’t call me, Alexander. I need time. And some space.” Then he ended the call.

With shaking hands Alec put his phone back in his jeans pocket. That… could have gone better. He didn’t expect Magnus to not want to see him again, but then he should have expected it- _´Let’s give him some time. Maybe he just has to get used to the fact that I’m back`_ , he thought and stumbled out of the bathroom.

. . .

The others were still in the kitchen. Clary looked at him expectantly and he nodded slightly. Her lips were pressed together and she whispered something to Jace.

“Okay guys, I think it’s time for us to leave. Alec, I’ll be back tomorrow after work! Bye Izzy, bye Simon”, Jace said and together with Clary he left the flat.

“Bye Jace”, Alec mumbled and closed the door behind them. “I think I’m going to bed early today”, he announced and grabbed one of his bags.

“Call me if you need anything”, Izzy reminded him and gave him a small kiss on his check.

“Night you two”, Alec said and went back to the bathroom. Afterwards he changed his clothes in Izzy’s and Simon’s guestroom. There was a large mirror on the wall. He hesitated before he put his sleeping shirt over his head. Alec’s stomach was still slightly rounded.

Hastily he turned off the lights and went to bed. When he was laying under the covers he couldn’t stop himself from touching his belly. He wondered if his boy had already found foster parents or whether he was still in an orphanage. Silent tears left Alec’s eyes. He tried to stop thinking of the child and concentrated on Magnus instead.

Time and space, that’s what he said that he needed. Time and space. _´Then I will give him that`_ , Alec thought and tried to sleep. It took a long time before he was finally able to let go of his thoughts enough to fall asleep.

. . .

Time and space for Alec maybe translated different to him than for other people. After Jace had shown up again like he promised Alec had decided to stay away from Magnus until the Alpha took the first step. He had made that decision two days ago.

Now he stood in front of his and Magnus’ house and tried to reason with himself. He was nervous. Of course he was. But he wanted to see Magnus again, to hear his voice. _‘Half a week’s time should be enough`_ , he reasoned with himself and finally pressed the buzzer.

Alec observed the outside of their house while he waited for Magnus to open the door. It didn’t look that different, besides some new flowers in the garden and the freshly painted window to his left. The door opened and Alec tried to look confident and open.

He saw how Magnus’ face literally fell when he realised who was in front of his door. He stared at him for a few seconds, then Magnus swallowed visibly.

“Don’t have your keys on you?”, he said. Alec bit his lip.

“I didn’t think it would be alright of me to use them.”

Magnus laughed. “You thought so, mh? Well, then why are you here? I think I made it pretty clear when I told you that I didn’t want to see you”, Magnus said and stared at Alec.

“I wanted to talk to you and… and I gave you time!”

The alpha sighed. “Yes, Alexander. Three or four days. I told you that I would get in contact with you when I’m ready.”

Alec didn’t know what to say. Maybe he should have stayed away, but he just wanted to talk to Magnus and see him again. “Can I come in please?”, he wanted to know and dared to look Magnus in the eyes. Something shifted in Magnus and he sighed. “Well, it’s your house too so I guess… But I’m in a hurry. I have a meeting with a client, and I have to leave in half an hour.”

Alec smiled a little. “Thank you”, he whispered and stepped inside. The lingering smell was nearly overwhelming for him. It smelled so much like home!

He heard Magnus closing the door behind him and was brought back to the present. Slowly they walked into the living room. Alec noticed some smaller and bigger changes. There was a new couch next to the TV and… all of his stuff was gone.

“Where are-“, Alec started, but Magnus interrupted him.

“Your things are upstairs. I… I needed some changes of scenery. Don’t worry, I didn’t throw anything away. Actually, I wanted to ask Isabell if she would take it, but she was so busy lately.”

Alec closed his eyes for a few seconds. _´Yes, she was busy with me. And our child`_ , he thought, but didn’t dare to say. “It’s okay. Is it… Is it possible that I can leave it here for a little bit longer? I think I have to find my own place to live first”, Alec asked and was sure that Magnus didn’t miss the words that were left unsaid. Alec wouldn’t just be moving back in with Magnus.

“Yes, of course”, Magnus said and looked anywhere but were Alec was standing. Then he looked up again. His stare was fierce.

“So, where were you?”, he said.

 _´This is it`_ , Alec thought and sat down on the new couch. He waited for Magnus to sit as well, but the other one took a few steps and stood with is back to Alec and looked out of the window.

“Vancouver”, Alec said and was glad that Magnus wasn’t looking at him. He had always been a horrible liar and Magnus knew all his tells. He never stood a chance when they had a family-and-friends night of poker.

“Vancouver”, Magnus repeated. His hands were playing with the many rings on his fingers. “And what did you do there?”

Alec dug the parts of Izzy’s cover story out of his brain. “I stayed at a friends place and gave archery lessons to kids. Did a lot of hiking as well. Thinking. Realising that leaving you the way I did was the biggest mistake of my life.”

It was quiet for a while until Magnus turned around and looked at Alec with a to him unknown expression. The alpha opened his mouth to say something, but his phone started to ring. Sighing he grabbed it and turned it off.

“I’m sorry Alexander, but I have to go. The meeting I’ve mentioned. Thank you… for telling me where you were. Obviously, I don’t think that I can just forget the last six months and I think that we have a lot to talk about. Not in order to renew our relationship, because I can’t go there right now. But… I would like to know more about your time in Vancouver. I know how much you always wanted to go there”, Magnus said and left his place next to the window.

Alec stood up and followed Magnus back to the door. He tried to hug him but Magnus gently pushed him away.

“Alexander… Like I said. I’m not ready. Please respect that and give me some time and space. For real this time”, he pleaded, and Alec swallowed, but nodded.

“Can I at least have my job back? Unless someone else has it already”, he added. Magnus visibly hesitated.

“I… I don’t know Alexander. I will look into it next week and will get back to you, okay?”

“Good, thank you Magnus”, Alec replied and left the house. He looked back once and saw Magnus still standing in the door frame. The look he sent him was a mixture of hurt, deviance and a stubbornness that got Alec to smile.

It was such a typical Magnus thing – his stubbornness. He continued his way back to Izzy’s flat. It was Friday already so hopefully he would hear from Magnus again soon. A small smile spread over Alec’s face. Then he snuggled into his coat a little bit more. It was still rather cold, even for the end of March.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first Alec's POV, then we have some insight into Magnus' thoughts. Thank you for your lovely comments. I'll try to answer them in the next few days ;)  
> (Not betaed yet)
> 
> Enjoy!

“No excuses, we’re going out tonight!”, Jace said and placed several bottles of beer in front of Alec. He looked at them warily. It had been months since Alec had last drunken alcohol.

“I’m really not feeling so well”, he started and looked at Izzy. She told him not to drink any alcohol and it also wasn’t a lie. Alec really didn’t feel that great. Maybe be was coming down with something or it was still the aftermath of the birth. Jace didn’t look as if he was buying it.

“But we have to go to _Hunters Moon_. Come on Izzy, you know Simon is playing tonight. And Alec, you haven’t seen the rest of our friends yet. Come on you two!”

Izzy sighed. “Okay, okay. But no beer for Alec. I think he might have caught a cold on his flight back”, she said and looked at Alec. “I mean, if you don’t want to come because of Magnus, then don’t worry Alec. He won’t be there.”

Jace grumbled about the no-beer rule for Alec, but then he agreed.

. . .

It was nearly eight when they arrived at _Hunters Moon_. Simon had reserved a table for them. Maia was working, but she stopped by for a few minutes to hug Alec and ask him the same question that anyone else had asked him already.

“So, you’re really back now? No change of mind?”, Maia laughed.

Alec smiled. “No, I’m not planning on leaving again any time soon.” Before Maia could bombard him with her next question, the door opened, and Clary entered.

And behind her there was Magnus.

Breathing in deeply, Alec turned back to their table. “I thought Magnus wouldn’t be coming today”, he said sharply and stood up. He had broken his promises to Magnus often enough now, he wouldn’t do it again.

“Alec, wait!”, Jace called after him, but he was already on his way to the door. Clary was looking at him for a second, then she watched Magnus, until he nodded slightly. Slowly, she went to the others and left Alec and Magnus alone.

“I’m really sorry Magnus. I promised you I would give you space. Izzy said that you wouldn’t be coming today, so I thought-“

“Alexander”, Magnus interrupted him. “It’s fine. I didn’t plan to come, because I had an emergency at work. But I do have to talk to you.”

Alec’s heart started beating faster.

“It’s about your job”, he continued, and Alec’s smile dimmed.

“Yes, of course”, Alec said with a rough voice. Magnus walked to a quiet corner and motioned Alec to follow him.

“There has been a mix up in the contract with _Archer Electronics_ and since you always had such a good relationship with their CEO and were the one who made the original contract I was wondering if you could come to work on Monday and help the legal team to settle this mess”, Magnus explained and waited for Alec’s answer.

“Yeah, sure. I can do that. I’ll be there at… say 8.30?”

Magnus nodded. “Thank you very much Alexander.” Alec hummed and started to leave. “Alexander”, the alpha called after him.

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to leave only because I’m here. They are your friends as well.”

Closing his eyes for a few seconds Alec nodded and went back to Izzy, Jace and Clary with Magnus by his side. They were sitting next to each other. Alec could nearly feel the heat of Magnus’ body every time their arms or legs brushed each other. It was awkward at first. Alec having been gone for so long was obviously still a big elephant in the room.

Only a few minutes before Simon started his performance Maia came back to their table to talk some more. And of course, she had to ask the one question that would turn the whole table back to the mess it had been when Magnus and Alec first sat down together.

“So, Alec, any new people in your life that we should be aware of?”, she asked innocently, but Alec was looking right through her. The others as well by the way they were looking at Maia. Or stiffening, in Magnus’ case.

Alec gulped.

“No, no one. I spent most of my time for myself when I wasn’t teaching”, he lied and looked at the table. His glass of water was nearly empty.

“Seems like nothing really happened since you left. No missed relationships, neither you nor one of us had a new thing.” And wow, that was the quality content Alec was after, because that meant that Magnus was also still single.

Well, to be honest, Alec would have been surprised if it had been different, but still. Good to know. “

Hey guys, I’m Simon Lewis. Thanks for having me tonight”, Simon started his program and Maia returned to the bar. Alec couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.

. . .

Magnus was exhausted when he finally arrived back at his house. I wasn’t that late, but it had been a rather stressful day. First one of his contractors pulled out of a long-time planned event and then the shitshow with _Archer Electronics_ happened.

Shaking his head, Magnus walked into the living room and fell on the couch. He felt conflicted. Of course, Alexander had to come back when Magnus just thought that he was finally over him. When Magnus had realised that the short message he had gotten the day before their wedding wasn’t just a joke he had been heartbroken.

It had taken him nearly four months to function like a normal human being again. During one particular hard night he had sworn himself that no matter what, he would never exchange one more word with Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

The nerve of this man, seriously! Who disappeared for six months only to come back and act like nothing mayor had happened!?

Suddenly something small and fluffy jumped on Magnus and settled on his stomach. “Right Chairman, you agree with me, don’t you?”, he asked the Chairman. The little cat only purred louder. He’d been a present from Alexander…

“What shall I do now, Chairman. It’s the right decision to ask Alexander to come back to work – I mean he even offered it in the first place – but it’s already so difficult. Seeing him today… Talking to him. You have no idea what that does to me.”

Magnus closed his eyes and started playing with one of his necklaces, before the Chairman joined him. He had to stay strong. Alexander would be a colleague at work, like all the others as well. When he stayed far away enough from him – especially mentally – than nothing should happen.

Magnus knew that he couldn’t fall in love with Alexander again. It would be too painful and he wasn’t ready to live through the last six months without him again. It was better to close himself off from Alexander.

Way better.


	5. Chapter 4

Everyone was looking at him. _Everyone._ Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him, but if Alec were honest, it did. Were they judging him? He didn’t know.

“Everybody”, Magnus said and clapped his hands. “As you can see, Alexander is back. He’s going to handle the _Archer_ deal foremost. Give him all the updates he needs, please, and yeah, welcome back, Alexander.”

There were a few people clapping but mostly they stared at Alec as if he were an alien. Of course, all his co-workers and underlings had known of Magnus and his relationship. And the upcoming wedding. He really hoped getting back to work at _Warlock Event Agency_ wasn’t a bad idea.

Alec thought back to how work was like before he left. Sure, Magnus was technically speaking his boss but it had never felt that way. They were always sharing lunch and the latest office gossip in either Magnus’ or Alec’s office.

 

_“Do you like the pho soup? I made it extra clear that they shouldn’t put any mushrooms in it”, Magnus had said with a smile. “Can’t have you vomiting all over the paper work again.”_

_Alec cringed. “It was only like one file, okay? And maybe I just caught a bad soup, or the chef doesn’t like you for always ordering special stuff”, he murmured and gave Magnus a short kiss on the lips. He could feel Magnus lips stretch into a smile._

_“Only the best for you, darling.”_

_Alec hummed deep in his chest and put his hand on Magnus shoulder._

_“Love you too.”_

Alec blinked.

“Alexander?”, Magnus asked him. “Will you be alright?”

 Clearing his throat Alec nodded and went to his office.

It looked blank and unused. Apparently, no one else had been working here since Alec left. He breathed in deeply. No, he could only smell the remains of his own and Magnus’ smell. And Karla’s, their cleaning lady. It hurt, being back in here. Too many memories kept coming up.

Like the one of Magnus and him eating together. The soup hadn’t been bad. Alec had only realised that two weeks later after peeing on seven different pregnancy tests. To Alec’s defence, two of them had been negative, one unidentifiable and the other four…

Well, those had been the really scary ones. In Alec’s opinion.

Positive, all four of them.

A knock on his open office door shook Alec out of his thoughts again. Magnus was standing in the door frame with a bunch of folders in his hands. “These were still in my office”, he said and put the papers on Alec’s desk. Magnus acted completely professional. Alec hated it.

“Do you want to grab lunch together later on?”

Magnus stopped on his way out.

“I don’t think that that’s a good idea.”

Alec fought against the sudden wave of pain that rushed through him. “Okay”, he nearly whispered.

_Alec was alone most of the time while he stayed in the hut. Besides Izzy, no one even knew he was there. And the internet connection was shit, so no Netflix and chill. He tried to absorb every piece of information Izzy gave him during her visits._

_He especially thirsted for news from Magnus._

_The last time he had seen his alpha he had been in Alec’s office, dropping off some files. It was their last day at work before their wedding. Alec was to stay at his parent’s house together with his family and Magnus would go over to Clary’s where she lived with her parents; Luke who was a cop and Jocelyn, a social worker who worked at the local church._

_“One last meal together,_ fiancé _?”, Magnus had asked and looked at Alec expectantly. Alec had sweated. At that time he hadn’t completely decided yet on what to do. Telling Magnus about the child was totally out of the question. Not after the last talk they had about that topic._

_“Sure”, he had said and hoped that Magnus wouldn’t realise the tremor in his voice. And he had only looked at him funnily for a moment before shrugging it off._

_But most of the time that Alec spent fantasising about Magnus, he tried to relive memories from their time in New York. How they had met: at a café, both reaching for the same cup of coffee and both trying to get the other one to take the cup, because definitely, they looked more desperately in need of a good dose of caffeine – at four am in the morning with a huge deadline coming up for a lot of university students._

_Alec remembered them exchanging numbers, becoming friends, moving in the same circles. How easy it had been for Alec to talk to Magnus when with everyone else it had always been so difficult. Besides his siblings of course._

_Camille had never liked Alec, but he thought that she also never saw him as competition. Sure, Alec had liked Magnus from the beginning, but not_ liked, liked. _Only after he had broken up with Camille for cheating on him and also several weeks later, Magnus started to spend more time with Alec then the rest of their friends and all their feelings had blossomed from there on._

_Alec remembered their first kiss vividly._

_It was at the New York Pride Parade – his first one even. And Magnus had held his hand all the way from their dormitories to the busy streets. Suddenly, all the people around them had started kissing when a queen screamed into a microphone and asked them to find someone in the crowd to share their love with._

_It had been sweet and shy. Alec’s first kiss._

_He remembered, how Magnus asked him if he wanted to kiss him before their lips met. Sometimes he could still taste the artificial flavour of Magnus’ cherry lip gloss on his tongue._

_They moved into their first shared flat a year and a half later after they both finished university and two years later they moved to Alec’s hometown Alicante._

_“Do you like it?”, Alec had asked, and Magnus grabbed him, pushed him off his feet and started spinning Alec around their still empty bedroom._

_“I love it”, Magnus had proclaimed. “But not as much as I love you.”_

“Alexander? Alexander!”

Alec blinked a few times and grabbed the desk to get a hold on himself. He should stop thinking about the past so much and focus on the present. “Sorry”, he said and straightened himself. “I zoned out there for a minute.”

Magnus didn’t look like he believed him. Before the alpha could say something, someone was calling for Magnus. Alec recognized the voice and bit on his lower lip.

He hadn’t met Jocelyn again yet. Surely, he was in for something. Clary’s mother was very protective of Magnus. He was an orphan and after he immigrated to the US from Spain after leaving Indonesia when he was six, he grew up in the group home that Jocelyn worked at. He had bonded with Clary quickly and the two of them became nearly as close friends as Jace and Alec.

Magnus never told Alec about his birth parents. He only knew that his mother died a few years after Magnus’ birth, but his father was a red flag.

“Jocelyn, we’re here!”, Magnus called out and looked out of Alec’s office to gesture his foster mother over. Alec tried to regain his posture and breathed in deeply.

And froze.

That _smell…_

He knew it, his omega was yearning for it. Days on end Alec had screamed in his mind for the smell to come back to him. Even though he knew that he should never wish that.

And now it was back.

Alec thought he was drowning when Magnus stepped back into the room to make space for Jocelyn, who was carrying a little baby in her arms.

_Their baby._


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I should've warned you about that cliffhanger, huh? Sorry, but I wanted it to be a surprise :D
> 
> Finally, we'll get some answers to the big question: Why didn't Alec tell Magnus about his pregnancy?

Alec tried to breathe. In… In… The air only went into his lungs, but never out. He swallowed. His mouth felt dry. With every forced inhale he breathed in the smell of the little boy in Jocelyn’s arms. What was his little boy doing here? Why wasn’t he in New York or wherever else his foster parents lived?

Alec’s lungs hurt from all the air he pushed in but failed to exhale again. He tried to force himself to relax but failed when his boy started to squeal and cry in Jocelyn’s arms. Every instinct that he possessed screamed at him to get to Jocelyn and take his child away from her.

He was screaming, why was he screaming!? Was his boy hungry, maybe even sick?

Struggling, Alec made one step forward only to grab the edge of his desk again to stop himself from taking one more step in the wrong direction. Magnus and Jocelyn didn’t seem to realise that something wasn’t right with him.

“… I thought you said that you wouldn’t take care of another baby, Jocelyn”, Magnus said. “Why did you change your mind?”

Jocelyn tried to sooth Alec’s baby by slowly moving him back and forth. “I had no other choice”, she murmured. “Two weeks ago, this little cutie here lay in the church. Poor boy. I couldn’t just leave him with the priest, so I took him in. For the time being at least.”

Jocelyn sighed when the baby didn’t stop screaming. She put the blanket around the baby’s head away a little bit and Alec saw his boy for the first time. He thought that he would pass out.

“What’s wrong, honey? You just had your milk and you don’t feel wet or stink, hm?”, Jocelyn said and held the baby toward Magnus. “Hold him for me for a second please.”

Magnus barely had enough time to grab the child. Instantly the boy stopped fuzzing.

“Seems like he likes you”, Jocelyn cooed and put a loose strand of hair behind her right ear.

“I… I’m sorry. I need to go. To the bathroom”, Alec pressed out and fled from the room. His vision was whitening, and his breath rushed out of his lungs. Cold sweat started to collect at his temple and hands.

How delicately Magnus had held _their child_. He had even smiled a little bit! How could he do that after everything he had told Alec about having children of their own?

How!

_Alec was sitting on their couch. It was dark already. Magnus should be back soon. He was at a business dinner with two of their clients. Alec’s left knee went up and down. Up and down. He couldn’t stop it. His lower lip got a harsher treatment. It was already tender from the many times he had bitten on it already._

_It wouldn’t be easy to tell Magnus the news. After their seventh date, when they had both known that their feelings for each other were genuine Magnus had told Alec that he didn’t plan to have children. Ever._

_“I want to concentrate on work, you know. Children will never fit into my life. Also, I could never be a good father”, he had said with a low voice. Then Magnus had breathed in deeply and looked into Alec’s eyes. “Is that going to be a problem for you. Alexander? Not having kids?”_

_And at that time in his life – still in university, without really knowing what life was still waiting to through at him – Alec had said no, it wasn’t a deal breaker. Because at that time it hadn’t been. But now… Now things were different. They were different. Grown-up. Adults with their own company. Engaged. To be married in less than a month._

_Alec bit on his lower lip again put his hands on his knees and tried to stop them from shaking. It didn’t work. Finally, he saw Chairman Meow peeking up from his place next to Alec. Seconds later he heard a key moving in the lock of the front door and Magnus entered the house._

_“Oh, were you waiting for me darling?”, he asked and gave Alec a kiss on his right cheek._

_“Yes. How was dinner?”, Alec asked and waited for Magnus to come back from hanging up his coat._

_“Oh, it was exhausting”, Magnus said and fell on the couch, his head in Alec’s lap, feet on the other end of the couch hanging in the air. “Crissi is_ expecting _”, Magnus nearly snarled and Alec stopped petting Magnus’ hair. He felt the colour leaving his face. “She and Don are over the moon about it. Can you believe that? My life would be over if we had kids. You hear me,_ over _! I’m so glad that you’re also okay with not having kids. What a nightmare that would be!” Magnus sighed._

_Alec remained silent._

_All the words he had thought about to start this conversation left his head in less than a heartbeat. “Alexander, is everything alright? You’re so quiet today”, Magnus wanted to know and Alec nearly screamed._

_The positive pregnancy test sat heavy in his jeans pocket. “What…”, he started. He licked his lips once. Twice. “What if I changed my mind about that?” Watching Magnus’ face, Alec saw the exact moment Magnus realised what Alec meant with his words. His face instantly closed of and Magnus sat back up._

_For a few seconds, he studied Alec. “I don’t want children. Period. You knew that from the beginning. And I won’t change my mind. If you can’t accept that then I’m sorry”, he said._

_“Yes, I know that. But, I mean we were younger when we had that conversation and now. Look at us, we’re both successful, we have a house we’re going to get married. Do you really don’t want to have a child with me? To- To be a parent?”_

_Magnus' eyes hardened. He bit his teeth. “No, I never_ ever _want to be a parent. How could I want that – or a_ child. _Children are inconvenient little dirt producers. They scream, eat, shit and only make problems. You have to take care of them for at least 18 years and they cost a shit load of money. Ungrateful brats.” Magnus started a real rant._

_With every word that he spoke, Alec sank deeper and deeper into the cushions, the pregnancy test long forgotten._

 

Alec’s hands were shaking. It took him four tries until he could finally dial Izzy’s number. As soon as he heard her voice, he started whisper-shouting at his sister. “Why is the child here in Alicante? Why does Jocelyn have him?”

Izzy was quiet for a few seconds then Alec could hear her sigh. “I thought… You know, I really did that for you! I thought that if you changed your mind and the boy is here with Jocelyn you at least have the chance to get him back. You never would have had that chance had I brought him to New York.” Izzy sounded so sure of herself and yet-

“That wasn’t your call to make Izzy and you know it! Do you know who just walked into my office while Magnus was there? Yes, exactly: Jocelyn and, and-!”, Alec nearly screamed again.

“Shit!”, Izzy hissed. “Did he or Jocelyn say anything to you?”

Alec rubbed at his forehead. “No, I practically bolted from the room as soon as I could use my legs again, but Izzy… I-  I saw him. _Our boy!_ And he’s so precious! What am I going to do?”

Little hiccups left Alec’s mouth and he put his hand in front of his lips to make sure that no more sounds left his mouth.

“Okay Alec, first of all, relax, breath with me, in and out! We’ll have to see if Magnus and Jocelyn realise that something is off. Didn’t Magnus realise that the boy’s his son? Shouldn’t he have smelled something?”, Izzy wondered.

“I don’t think he recognised him. Magnus always had problems with differentiating smells that he’s unfamiliar with. Maybe he didn’t even realise that our boy smells familiar. At least I hope so”, Alec said. “And, and Izzy- Magnus, he _held_ him! Our boy! He was in his arms and you, you should have seen the look in their eyes! I don’t know if I can continue doing this”, Alec sobbed. It hurt, it hurt so fucking much to see Magnus being so delicate with their child when he never even wanted it in the first place.

 

_“Alexander, if this is going to be a problem for you then I’m sorry, but I’m not going to change my mind. If you want children, then fine. But you most definitely won’t be having them with me. Before that happens, I would make sure that I’ll never produce something like that in the first place. And maybe you should make sure of that as well.”_

_Alec was silent._

_The heavy feeling in his heart settled. Magnus wouldn’t change his mind. It wasn’t an option. He swallowed, his left hand nearly unconsciously moved to his lower belly. He would find a solution._

_For all three of them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hurt me now. Or Magnus.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Thank you soo much for your comments and kudos! You are amazing!!!  
> Today: Magnus POV  
> BTW, here's my tumblr: phoenixich. In case some of you want to yell at me ;)

Magnus was holding a child. In his arms. As soon as Jocelyn placed the child in his arms it stopped screaming.

Thank God.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Alexander leaving the room. With mixed feelings, Magnus focused back on the _task at hand_. “Seems like he likes you”, Jocelyn said. Shifting from one foot to the other Magnus tried to give the child back to her, but as soon as the child left his arms it started its ear-piercing scream again. “Oh, how cute! I think he wants to stay with you, Magnus”, Jocelyn whispered and put a hand on the child's forehead.

“But-“, Magnus tried, but as soon as the child heard his voice it looked up at him with its clear brown eyes. Then it _cooed_ and Jocelyn was practically melting into the floor while Magnus… was looking at that _thing_ in his arms like he expected it to vomit on him within the next three seconds. “Is it going to puke on me?”, he said and tried to move the child as far away from his new Versace shirt as possible.

Jocelyn started laughing. “No, Magnus! He just likes your voice, I think. Say some more.” Then she looked at him with her typical _you better have some manners_ -look. “And don't call him _it,_ his name is Max. Clary named him."

‘ _Like Alexander’s dead brother’,_ was the first thing that came into Magnus’ mind. “If you think so”, he mumbled and tried to give the child back to Jocelyn.

“Ah, ah”, she said and took a step back. “He’s screaming a lot, let me enjoy a few more minutes of rest before he starts again.” They were both quiet for a while and Magnus tried to ignore the weight in his arms and the occasional gurgle from the _thing_ – Max, he tried to correct himself.

“Do you know who his parents are?”, Magnus wanted to know. His foster mum shook her head no.

“Unfortunately, no. He was wearing new clothes that could have been bought everywhere. There was also no particularly strong smell on him. We think that he could be the child of an omega, but if so, then that omega never lay a hand on him. Otherwise, the parent would have imprinted on them. That’s what omegas normally do as soon as they hold their child for the first time”, Jocelyn said. “I informed the authorities and he’s going to stay with us for one or two more weeks, but if his parents don’t show up until then he’ll go into the system. Poor boy, but he’s young. There’s a high chance that he’s going to be adopted soon.”

Magnus nodded and looked at the child again. He seemed to be fascinated with Magnus’ necklaces. He couldn’t yet grab them, but the little boy watched how they moved.

“So, I see Alec’s back at the firm. Are you ok with that Magnus?”, Jocelyn wanted to know.

“Ok is the wrong word maybe. We need him here because of a contract mishap and he's the best person to handle it. It's just... Strange to see him back here. I sometimes think he never left, and it was all a dream. But then I look into his eyes and there is something in his eyes. He’s not the same person from half a year ago anymore. Something happened between us. There must have been an ulterior motive why he left me. Not just the little note he left for me.”

  
  
_“Darling, are you here?”, Magnus called when he walked into the kitchen. It was as empty as the rest of the house. Where was his Alexander? It was one day before their wedding. Maybe his omega had planned something for them or was he already off to spend his last night without a husband and ring on his finger at his sister's place?_

_Quietly whistling Magnus walked to their bedroom, Chairman Meow hot on his heels. He knocked on the door before he entered. “Alexander?” No answer. Again._

_Magnus opened the bedroom door and slowly entered. He looked around the room until his eyes focused on an envelope that lay on his side of the bed. He smirked._ ‘Magnus’ _was written on it in Alexanders minimalistic handwriting. “Oh darling, what kind of surprise do you have for me now?”, he said to himself and opened the envelope. The Chairman rested on his lab while Magnus read the letter sitting on their bed._

_The further he got the more his hands started to shake. There were already some smeared places on the paper like someone cried while writing it. Magnus added his own tears to them after reading the letter again. And again. Then he screamed so loud that the Chairman flew from his lap and the bedroom, his fur on edge and hissing afraid._

_Hours and nearly two bottles of Whiskey later, Magnus lowered his mobile for the last time. He had tried to call Alexander dozens of times, then his siblings. Clary, Luke. No one knew where his fiancé or better ex-fiancé was. With his last call, Magnus cancelled their wedding. No reason to show up if the other groom thought it was a better idea to disappear than to show up to his own wedding. Magnus read the letter again with blurry eyes. Then he fell asleep, the slip of paper forgotten between his fingers._

  
  
_My dear Magnus_

_I can hardly find the words to write this letter to you for I wanted to tell you myself what you are about to read. There are several reasons why you can't hear them from me, but the most important one is that I am an utter fool and a coward._

_I'm sorry Magnus, but I can't marry you tomorrow. And I also can't marry you the day after even though there's nothing that I would love to do more. For the last few weeks, there's been something on my mind that I couldn't share with you and it has broken me in ways you can't even begin to imagine._

_I've come to realise that I need to leave before I break you as well. Please don’t look for me. This is a journey that I must take on my own. I hope that when I come back, we can sit together and talk for I hope that I will not lose you because of my actions._

_I love you, always_

_Alexander_  


  
“He looked a little bit sick, don't you agree?”, Jocelyn asked and startled Magnus.

“You think so? I haven't realised anything like that. Maybe he’s getting a cold or something”, Magnus said and finally, Jocelyn took back the child. It started fuzzing nearly the second it left Magnus’ arms. What was wrong with this child?

“I really don’t like what Alec did, he never should have just left you like that”, Jocelyn said.

Magnus pushed back a laugh. Well, then you're not the only one who thinks so”, he mused. “I just don't know what to do. All these old feelings are coming back to the surface. I don't want to make the same mistakes twice, you know?”

“Oh Magnus”, Jocelyn hugged him carefully while holding the child. “Sure honey. Just promise me that you're going to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt again, ok?”

Magnus nodded. He was glad that Jocelyn had visited him.

“Good. Now, you haven't been over to dinner for a while. I can't have that. Tomorrow at seven, no excuses”, she said and raised her eyebrows, daring Magnus to say something else.

“Okay.”

“Perfect. Then I guess I'm going to see you tomorrow”, Jocelyn gave him a kiss.

“Bye”, Magnus said and watched her leave with the child. A sudden urge came over him to follow her to get to the child. Irritated, Magnus took a few steps back. “What the hell”, he mumbled to himself and shook his head.

Where was Alexander by the way? Didn't he say something about going to the toilet? Slowly, Magnus left the office and sniffed. He smelled Alexander, but he was confused. His sense of smell had always been _off_ , ever since… Well, a time Magnus tried not to think about.

It was difficult for him to differentiate between new smells or those that were very similar.  When he tried to smell Alexander, he wasn’t sure where to go first. One trace went to the left, the other to the direct Jocelyn had gone. But the second smell was… different, not pure Alexander, more like a mixture of several people and the _Alexander_ -part of it wasn’t as strong as the other one. Magnus decided to go left. He smelled again and something about the omegas smell was off. Acidic, like he was panicking or being attacked.

The alpha side of him growled and pushed Magnus to find his omega. It hurt him that his alpha still thought of Alexander as their mate. On the other hand, it was oddly comforting. Following the slight stench of the omega, Magnus hurried through the halls.

He found him next to an empty storage room, far away from everyone else. And the toilet. “Alexander is everything ok?”, Magnus asked.

The omega turned around. His face was white, but there were several red blotches on his throat and his forehead was covered in sweat. Something was wrong. He tried to reply but at the same moment Alexander’s knees gave out. Magnus rushed forward and grabbed him under his armpits.

“Alexander!”, Magnus shouted.

“What?”, the omega mumbled and tried to get back on his feet.

“Woha”, Magnus tried to get Alexander to sit on the ground, but he pushed him away. Worried, the alpha took a step back but hovered close to Alexander.

He mumbled something that sounded slightly like _‘Not again’_.

Magnus’ eyes went wide. “Has this happened before?”

“No”, was the not very reassuring answer.

The alpha sighed. “Come, let me help you.” Grumbling Alexander allowed him to hold his left elbow while they slowly made their way back to Alexander's office.

“Sit down. Let me get you a glass of water”, Magnus said and grabbed the bottle from the table. The omega’s fingers were shaking when he took the glass of water from Magnus.

“Thank you”, he mumbled. Alexander took a few sips, then he put the glass back on the table and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to see this. I'm going to start with the case immediately, just give me a second.”

Magnus frowned. “Alexander, you're not going to continue to work now.”

Alexander looked at him as if he just shot a puppy in front of his eyes. “But I need to start on this, or- Are you going to fire me? I'm fine, trust me. Just a cold, that's all!”, he pleaded.

Magnus had to close his eyes. He reminded him so much of their past. When they were happy. Not the way it was now.

“I’m not going to fire you but you’re obviously not fine. Please take the rest of the day off and get some rest. If you are feeling better tomorrow, then come back. Please promise me to stay at home if you _don’t_ feel better.”

They looked each other in the eyes and Magnus could feel the fire burning inside him again. At the moment it was tame, nothing more than a single flame but if he wasn't careful that flame could turn into a raging forest fire.

He blinked and looked away. Alexander was mumbling something again. “What”, Magnus asked.

“Okay”, he repeated, and the alpha had to smile when he saw Alexander's facial expression.

“Than you”, he said and left the room. Before he did anything silly like touch Alexander's shoulder or stroke his cheek.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!  
> A slightly longer chapter today, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and kudos, you guys are the best!

Alec was still angry with Izzy. They had talked in person the day Jocelyn had shown up at his office with his son. He understood why Izzy did it, he did. She was already rooting for a happy ending for everyone. Still, it hadn’t been her call to make.

At least his work was distracting Alec from thinking too much about his baby boy being so close, but still out of reach. His fingers shook sometimes and more than once Alec had to take a short break to breathe because he was feeling dizzy or his lower belly cramped. Unfortunately, Magnus had also realized that something was wrong with Alec.

After nearly collapsing into Magnus’ arms in the hallway it had happened again a few days later. Now it was Alec’s second week back to work and Magnus was walking by his office or stopping for a quick chat at least three times a day. It was sweet, to see that the alpha still cared about Alec and it made his heart beat like crazy as well.

It was nearly time for his lunch break when Alec’s phone vibrated. It was a new message from Izzy. _‘Mum just texted me. She and dad have to go to Buenos Aires before they come back home. Could take them another two weeks before they are here. Dad says that if they come home and you’re gone again they’ll send dogs after you.’_

Alec smiled. _‘Thx for letting me know. Gonna text them later myself.’_

He put his phone down and continued typing an e-mail to his main contact at _Archer Electronics_. He enjoyed working again. The new contract with _Archer_ was as good as signed and Magnus had already given Alec some new stuff to work on.

There was a knock at Alec’s door and after a second Magnus’ head appeared between the doorframe. He looked concerned. “Alexander, can you come to my office for a few minutes?”

Raising his eyebrows, Alec nodded and got up to follow Magnus. “Is everything alright?”, Alec dared to ask while they were walking to Magnus’ office that was only a few steps and a corner away from Alec’s.

“Yes and no”, Magnus answered and opened his door. “See for yourself.”

“Well, shit”, Alec muttered as soon as he saw the inside of Magnus’ office. It was packed with boxes and files. “What’s that?”

Magnus sighed “I got the engagement to organise Alicante’s summer festival in July. We have a cooperation with the partner city in California. They’re sending a representative over in a few days to go over the details and these boxes – apparently – are full of those _details_. I need your legal expertise. Can you go over them with me?”

Alec rubbed his chin. “Sure. Shouldn’t take us more than two days. I hope”, he said.

Magnus laughed. “Oh, I haven’t told you the best part yet. The office will be closed tomorrow and over the weekend. Apparently, our fire alarms are outdated and we need some new ones. They’ll be installed during the next few days. But until then we have to work home office-style.”

“Well, then let’s get started and get as much done as possible. You can take half of the boxes that are left home with you and I’ll take the other half”, Alec offered.

“Sounds good. Let’s get started”; Magnus said and clapped his hands.

“Anything specific I should look for?”, Alec asked and Magnus explained to him the finer details of their work.

. . .

It was already dark outside when Magnus sighed and put down one of the folders. Alec looked up from what he was working on. “This is ridiculous. Why would they send us this stuff? It’s not the least bit relevant for the festival. And the parts that are important are mixed in with the unimportant stuff. Who the hell sent this?”, Magnus grumbled and started to stretch.

He wasn’t wrong. So far both he and Alec had to look over every single sheet of paper. Just splitting the workload wasn’t an option. After realising that Alec had started marking the important legal details with a blue post-it and Magnus copied him by using green ones. When they stumbled over something that they thought was important for the other one they just asked but working separately would take them double the time.

“So, what do you propose we do? The office will be closed tomorrow, and we can’t just go and sit in a café with all these boxes”, Alec said and put his folder down.

“Only a really evil person could come up with something like this”, Magnus mumbled, then he answered Alec. “Home office it is, I guess. You can come over to our- the house tomorrow if it’s okay with you?”

“Sure”, Alec said and bit his lower lip. Spending the day alone with Magnus, why would he say no?

“Good”, Magnus said. “Then I guess I see you tomorrow. Let’s say at ten?”

“Okay, I’ll be there. Shall I bring something for breakfast?”, Alec wanted to know and held his breath while he waited for Magnus’ answer. He hesitated visibly, but then a smile that nearly wasn’t there spread his lips.

“Some croissant maybe?”, he said and ushered Alec out of his office. “See you tomorrow, Alexander. Sleep well.”

“You too”, Alec mumbled and left the office.

. . .

He was a little bit nervous when he stood in front of Magnus’ door the next morning. In one hand was his office bag, in the other a bag from Magnus’ favourite French bakery. “Good morning Alexander”, the alpha greeted him when he opened the door.

“Morning. I’ve got your croissants. I hope you have coffee. Izzy flooded the kitchen this morning trying to make tea”, Alec sighed and followed Magnus to the living room. The Chairman was sleeping on his assigned spot on the couch and didn’t even look up when Alec entered the room.

“Ah!”, Alec hissed. He stepped onto something. The omega looked at the ground and felt all the blood leaving his face. There were… toys for a baby. Loads of them. “What”, he stammered when Magnus entered the room, two cups of coffee in his hands.

“Oh. That”, he said and put the cups down and hurried past Alec to put the toys away. “Jocelyn was over last night and she brought the baby, Max with her.”

Alec flinched when he heard the name. Did Izzy…? Did Jocelyn know anything? Cold sweat started to form on his forehead.

“Clary named him. Apparently, he reminds her of your brother. I’m sorry Alexander. Jocelyn says that Max always calms down faster when he’s around me, so she comes by nearly every evening”, Magnus explained. Alec wanted to scream at Magnus. And shake him. Because of course, their boy was like an angel around Magnus.

It was his damn son!

Basic alpha-omega physiology with their children. He could only hope that Jocelyn wouldn’t figure out why the child acted so calm around Magnus. Another sharp pain shot through his abdomen, but Alec was so used to it by now that he could easily fake being okay.

Magnus gathered all the toys and blankets. What did their little boy need all these toys for already? He was still so little. The alpha put the things away.

Several boxes from the office were already stapled next to the coffee table. “Okay. Let’s eat first and then start to work”, Magnus said and brought a tray with marmalade, cutlery and plates for them from the kitchen.

. . .

They were mostly silent while eating breakfast, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. “You still have those stupid cups”, Alec remarked after a while. Magnus looked up from his croissant and smirked.

“I don’t really seem to be able to part with them.” Alec looked at the bright pink and sparkling cup.

“Where did you find them again?”

“Thailand. During Spring Break after our first semester”, Magnus answered. “By the way, I nearly bought you a miniature set of them when I was there again a few years later. Imagine the look on your face! I bet it would have been priceless! You were still so grumpy back then.”

Alec chuckled and tried to hide his slight blush. When he looked back up, Magnus’ face was guarded. “You know after you left… First, I didn’t really know what to do. No one knew where you were, and I couldn’t reach you.” He laughed to himself, then Magnus sighed. “I even thought about hiring a private detective, but Isabell talked me out of it.”

Alec swallowed hard. “I’m really sorry Magnus. I never wanted to cause you any pain. You have to believe me”, Alec said.

Magnus sipped on his coffee. “It’s… Ok, I guess. But, what was it that made you leave? Did I, did I do something?”

It was heart-breaking for Alec to hear the hesitation and sorrow in Magnus’ voice. “I”, he started, but Alec didn’t know how to finish that sentence. He still couldn’t tell Magnus the truth. What would the alpha do if he knew that Alec hadn’t told him about the child he had. That little boy – named after his dead brother – who was so relaxed and comfortable around Magnus? “I don’t know if I can”, Alec pressed out. “It’s just I don’t think I can talk about it. Not yet. It’s not something that’s your fault. I just should have been better at handling the situation I guess.”

Alec could see that Magnus wanted to ask _´what situation`._ But he didn’t ask.

“I see. Well, whenever you’re ready to talk to me about it, I’m here”, Magnus said and touched Alec’s hand for a second.

The omega sighed. “Thank you, Magnus. For… not pressuring me.” “Of course, dea- Alexander”, he said, and Alec tried not to flinch when Magnus nearly said _darling_ to him.

They finished breakfast and continued their work. Now and then one of them would start a short conversation about another topic. Magnus wanted to know what Alec’s plans for the future were. He didn’t know how to answer that question, because, for Alec, future always meant Magnus and now that he wasn’t sure whether the alpha would even be part of his, Alec didn’t know what he wanted from the future at all.

At least they also talked about the time when Alec had still lived with Magnus. “You remember that one time when the Chairman slept on your new clothes from your shopping trip with Izzy and Clary? You banished him from our bedroom for nearly a month”, Alec remarked and petted the little cat.

Magnus tried to hold back a smirk. “It served him right. No one’s allowed to leave their hair on my new _white_ trousers. Especially not dark hair”, the alpha said and snatched Chairman Meow from Alec’s lap. “Come on little one, we need to work.”

They did make progress with the files, but it was slow. Everything was mixed up: reports about the expected costs with an overview of the number of performers that the other city would send and contact details of important people were in the same box as flyers for the festival. It was pure chaos. “No wonder you didn’t want to go through this stuff on your own… It’s mayhem”, Alec mumbled and stretched his arms until his elbows popped. He was already hungry again and it was only- Oh, already half past six.

Magnus sighed. “Well, guilty as charged, I guess.” He was also staring at the watch. “Chinese?”

“Hell yeah!”

“The usual?”

Alec nodded and tried to hide his smile. Magnus stood up to get to the kitchen and order their food. Alec went to the bathroom. He went to sit down on the toilet when he was hit with another cramp. “Shit”, he hissed and nearly doubled over. Those cramps were getting worse. He tried to breathe through it.

“Alexander?”, he heard Magnus shout.

“Bathroom”, Alec shouted back and hoped that the alpha wouldn’t hear anything in his strained voice.

“Food’s here in 20 minutes.”

“Okay”, Alec said and tried to breathe again. His vision started to swim, and Alec fought against collapsing. _`Not now and definitely not here!`_ It took him several long minutes before he could get back up again. When Alec looked in the mirror he sighed. His face was white as snow and drops of sod sweat were on his forehead. Again. Slowly he washed his hands and his face. Alec pinched his cheeks several times until the colour returned to his face.

“Better”, he said to himself and went back to the living room. Magnus was already putting the folders back into the boxes. They nearly finished sorting through everything. Slowly, Alec made his way over. He still tried to break through the pain, but it was manageable now.

“Sit down, the delivery guy must be here now every minute”, Magnus said and smiled at him. Alec’s heart beat faster. He was still so in love with Magnus.

The Chairman was back and wanted to be pet so Alec pushed his fingers through his fur. He was rewarded with a loud purr. When the doorbell rang Magnus went to get their food. He returned a few seconds later with a large delivery bag.

“Let’s eat”, he said and put the bag on the table. After a little sorting through the content, Magnus gave Alec his food: dumplings and pho noodles. His all-time favourites. Magnus had some noodles with vegetables and tofu.

“Still the best Chinese I ever had”, Alec mumbled between two bites.

“Even though you got sick from it once?”, Magnus said with a smile.

Alec stopped chewing. “Yes”, he answered, but didn’t look into Magnus’ eyes.

. . .

“Will you be able to finish the rest on your own?”, Alec asked after they had finished their dinner and Magnus brought him to the front door.

“Yes, it’s not that much anymore. I’ll manage it”, the alpha said and smiled.

Alec wanted to return that smile, but suddenly the pain in his abdomen was back. This time though it was worse. He gasped and doubled over, seeing black spots in his vision.

“Alexander!”, he heard Magnus cry out, then there was only black.

. . .

It took Alec a long time to open his eyes again. He was lying in their, no, in Magnus guest room and the alpha was sitting next to him, looking more than a bit concerned. “You back?”, Magnus asked.

“Mhm”, Alec rasped and tried to move. He stopped immediately.

“Alexander, please be honest with me. How often has this happened before?”

Alec mumbled something, then he said: “Don’t know. Never like that. Only feel a little bit dizzy sometimes and have some cramps. That’s all.”

Magnus sighed. “Can I call a doctor?” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before Alec vehemently shook his head no. “Okay. Please, stay here for the night. Are you feeling better now? There are some painkillers next to you. Then, first thing tomorrow, I’m getting you to a doctor.”

Alec licked his chapped lips. “Okay”, he agreed after a few seconds had passed.

Magnus smiled. “Thank you. And now, rest.”

And Alec fell asleep immediately.  


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.  
> First of all, I think this chapter is not what you expected it to be. Sorry for that, but there are some things that have to happen before we can move on ;)  
> I'll answer your lovely comments tomorrow, thank you so much for your support everyone!

With the first lights creeping into his bedroom, Magnus was up and preparing breakfast. He was humming to himself while giving the Chairmen his first meal of the day. Then, he piled Alexander's breakfast - some freshly squeezed orange juice, a cup of coffee and blueberry oatmeal - on a plate and carried the tray upstairs.

"Alexander?", Magnus asked after he knocked at the door of his guest bedroom.

" Yes", he heard a muffled voice and opened the door.

"Good morning", Magnus said. " I've got you some breakfast. Although, I must admit I had a little shortage of oranges, so it wasn’t enough for a full glass."

Alexander was sitting up in bed, his hair rumpled from sleeping. A tired smile split his lips into a heart-warming sight. Magnus felt the urge to smile as well and walked over to the omega to place the tray on Alexander's lap.

"I hope you like it."

Alexander looked at the food and nodded. "Thank you so much, Magnus. You didn't have to-"

Magnus interrupted him. "Please, you're my guest. It’s my pleasure." His fingers danced over the back of Alexander's hand for a few seconds. Magnus saw how a slight red coloured his cheeks. The alpha's heart beat faster. He felt how pleased his inner alpha was, purring like a machine. Maybe, just maybe not everything lost between them.

"Do you want me to drive you to the doctor?", Magnus asked and Alexander swallowed a spoon full of oatmeal.

"You don't have to. I don't even think that they'll be open today. I mean, it's Saturday. I think I'll just go to a pharmacy and visit the doctor on Monday." Alexander seemed to realise that Magnus wanted to say something, but he continued. "And I'll talk to Izzy. She's a doctor - I mean not that kind of doctor, but she will know what it might be. Satisfied?"

Magnus grumbled a little bit. “But you go to the doctor first thing on Monday morning, ok?", he wanted to know.

Alexander sighed, but then he nodded." Yes, I'll do that."

Magnus smiled relieved. “Thank you, Alexander."

After the Omega finished his breakfast, Magnus brought the plates and cutlery back downstairs while Alexander took a shower and got ready for the day. It was good for Magnus to see him walking again, smiling, obviously no longer in pain. Maybe he was just overreacting, and Alexander wasn't that sick, but he wanted to be sure. He didn't think that he could forgive himself if anything happened to Alexander and he had had the chance to do something about it.

“Thank you again for letting me stay here for the night. I'll see you on Monday I guess", Alexander said after he had put on his shoes and grabbed his bag.

"You're welcome and don't forget to go to the doctor. And if he says that you're not fit for work then I don't want to see your face near the office, understood?", Magnus urged him and observed Alexander.

"Yes, sir yes", Alexander said, and Magnus had to fight back a rather endearing smile. _His Alexander._ He opened the front door for Alexander and after a short pause, he hugged him lightly. The huge smile that spread Alexander's face when he took a step backward was worth it.

. . .  
  
Magnus felt feather light on Monday morning when he was in his car to drive to work. He had exchanged several messages with Alexander to be kept up-to-date with his well-being. Apparently, he felt fine again, only some minor headaches and pain in his abdomen and lower back.

The Alpha was singing to Britney Spears’ _Toxic_ when his phone rang. It was Jocelyn.

“My dear Jocelyn, what can I do for you?", he asked and turned down the volume of the music.

"Magnus", Jocelyn said, and he knew immediately that something was wrong.

“What's going on?", he asked. First, a shaky exhale then Jocelyn talked again.

“It's... It's about Max. He's sick."

Magnus' hands cramped around the steering wheel. His mouth was suddenly dry. "W-what?"

His foster mum talked to someone for a second, then he heard her clearly again. "He's sick! And the doctor doesn't know what it is. There are red blotches on his skin, he has a fever and, and", Jocelyn sighed. "They're doing some tests now. I just hope it's nothing too serious", she said.

Magnus parked his car on his designated parking spot, then he put the phone to his ear. "Where are you? Do you want me to come over?", he asked and checked his watch. Damn, the representatives from Idris, Alicante's partner city were supposed to arrive today!

Jocelyn chuckled. "No, no! I just wanted to let you know. We're at the doctor's now. I'll call you when we've got news, ok?"

Magnus nodded. "Yes, please do that. Bye." He shook his head. The child, Max, was sick. Why did he feel so strange right now? As if someone was sitting on his chest, hindering him to breathe normally. He waited for three more inhales and exhales, then Magnus opened the door and got to work.

He had asked his assistant Dot to prepare meeting room two for him and his guests. Everything was in perfect order when he arrived. The delegation from Idris wouldn't be there until 11:30 so Magnus decided to get some work done.

A knock on his door a few hours later had him look up from the pile of paperwork in front of him. "Isabell!", Magnus said and stood up.

"Hello Magnus", Alexander's sister greeted him and hugged him.

"You look good, are those new Gucci high heels I see on your lovely feet?", Magnus asked, and Isabell nodded delightedly.

"Yes, aren't they amazing? They’re a present from Simon."

Magnus smiled. "Well, my compliments, you look fabulous in them. But I guess you didn't come here only to show me your new shoes. "

Isabell smiled. “No. Actually, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to have lunch with me. I've promised to drive Alec to the doctor at two, so I took the rest of the day off."

Magnus was delighted to hear that Isabelle would get Alexander to a doctor. "I would love to, but I don't have time today. A delegation from Idris should be here any minute now and then Jocelyn called me this morning because of the baby", Magnus explained.

Isabell had gone a little bit pale at the mention of the child. “The little boy she found in the church? What's wrong with him?", she asked.

“Oh, he's sick. Jocelyn called me this morning. They’re at the doctor's right now. Maybe he will end up at the same doctor you go to with Alexander." Magnus’ eyes twinkled, but Isabelle didn't react.

She seemed to think about something and after a few seconds, she came to a decision. "Magnus", Isabell said and took a step closer to him. "I need to tell you some-"

She never got to finish her sentence, because at the same moment a rather shrill, but oh so familiar voice exclaimed: "Magnus darling, how long has it been?" He felt as if someone had put a bucket of cold water over his head. Slowly, Magus turned away from Isabell and looked over to the door to see his suspicion meet reality.

"Camille", he said with a raspy voice. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in ages."

There she stood, Camille Belcourt, his ex-girlfriend from university. _'Is it month of the exes?'_ , magnus wondered. He looked at Isabell and saw that she was less than excited to see Camille. Speaking of, Camille stepped into his office, a blonde-haired man who seemed to be one of her minions following her and kissed him first on his left and then on his right cheek. Her artificial spicy scent flooded Magnus' senses and he had to pinch his nose so that he wouldn't sneeze.

“We have an appointment at 11:30 sharp. This is Jonathan, we’re the representatives from Idris", she announced. Then her eyes landed on Isabell. Camille giggled. " Oh, how rude of me. What was your name again, Ines?"

Isabell's left eyebrow shut up and she stepped closer to Camille. “It's Isabell."

"Ah, right. Aren't you the sister of... What's his name? Axel? Alexander? How is it going with him, Magnus? I can barely smell him on you."

Magnus clenched his teeth. Camille had always had a way better sense of smell than him. “We broke up", was his short answer. "But he's still working here."

Magnus thought that he saw a delighted smile on Camille's face. “Oh, how sad. But nothing holds forever, right?", she said.

“It appears so", Magnus muttered.

Camille put her hand under his chin. "We definitely need to catch up. It seems that I've missed a lot. What do you say- dinner after we've finished business?"

Magnus wanted to say _maybe lunch_ because it wasn't even 12 yet, but then he thought better of it. Camille was the one who sent him all those boxes. Oh, damn her...

“Maybe. For good old times sake", he said and closed his eyes. Why did he feel like it was a really bad thing to have Camille back in his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, little Max is sick too and heeeello Camille and Jonathan. We're going to have sooo much fun together (or not).


	10. Chapter 9

Alec was on cloud nine. After waking up in Magnus’ guest room and getting breakfast in bed he didn’t think that his day or even weekend could get any better. But then Magnus had kept texting him, asking Alec how he felt and what he was doing in general.

Even Izzy and Simon had remarked on his good mood. Also, the pain had been better. Not completely gone, but he didn’t feel like someone was twisting a knife through his abdomen. Alec liked to think that he was better, but he would still go to the doctor. He’d promised Magnus that he would go.

All Alec was waiting for was for Izzy to show up. She’d volunteered to drive him. Alec had demanded that they wouldn’t go to a doctor in Alicante – confidentiality was good and all, but their city was small, and people of small cities talked, even when they shouldn’t. So, for Alec to feel comfortable enough to tell a doctor his whole medical history – including giving birth just a few weeks ago – he needed a doctor that didn’t know him or his family or friends.

It was nearly half past one when Izzy finally showed up. “Izzy, what the hell! Why are you so late? My appointment is at two”, Alec demanded to know. He took his wallet and jacket and left the house with his sister to go to her car.

She looked stressed and as if she wasn’t really listening to what he was saying.

“Izzy?”, he asked.

Suddenly, Isabelle started driving and then, finally talked. “I’ve just visited Magnus. He… He told me that your son. He’s ill. They brought him to a doctor, but they don’t know yet what he has”, she said.

Alec swallowed. His heart felt as if it was cramping. It hurt. A lot. “What else did Magnus say?”

Isabelle sighed. “Not much. Only that he’s ill.”

Alec thought for a while. Then, he had a horrifying idea. “What if he’s sick because of me?”, he said, voice shaking. His fingers started curling around each other, nails scratching his skin.

“I thought about that as well. We’ll have to ask the doctor if that’s possible. But first, we need to know what you have”, Isabelle explained and grabbed her brothers shaking fingers.

Alec exhaled. “What do I do if he’s sick because of me, Izzy? I can’t just go to Jocelyn and tell her I know what’s wrong with, with Max.”

“Calm down, Alec. They’re doing tests on him as well, so there’s a good chance that they’ll figure out what’s going on. Maybe he just has a cold or something like that. It doesn’t have to be related to you, you know”, Isabelle argued, but Alec didn’t feel the slightest bit better.

His baby was sick and Alec wasn’t there to look after him. To care for him. His omega was screaming at him in agony. Alec felt cold all over. His fingertips were numb. “How much longer?”, he asked and looked out of the window.

“Ten more minutes”, Isabelle said. They’re quiet for the rest of the drive.

. . .

They made it in time, Alec even had to wait an additional half an hour before the doctor finally came to see him. It was a beta woman in her late forty’s specialised in omega biology and reproduction. “Hello, I’m doctor Shaw”, she introduced herself. “So, what can I do for you?”

Alec swallowed hard. He didn’t feel comfortable Not after hearing about his boy. “I..”, he started, but he had to breathe a few more times before he could continue. Doctor Shaw was smiling at him, encouraging him to go on. “I have cramps sometimes in my lower abdomen and back. And I collapsed three or four times.”

“Mhm”, the doctor murmured and started typing something on her computer. “Do you have any preconditions? And when was your last heat?”

Alec swallowed, then he sighed. “I gave birth roughly four weeks ago, so my last heat was… sometime last year, June or July? And… I- I gave the child away. Does that count as a precondition?”, he wanted to know.

Doctor Shaw’s smile changed to something Alec would call understanding. “Okay. Yes, that’s really important to know so that I can figure out what’s going on with you. Is it okay if I ask you some more questions about your pregnancy, birth and when you gave away your child?”

Alec nodded. He looked down at his fingers. He should cut his fingernails soon, they’re rather long.

“Thank you, Alexander.”

“Alec’s fine”, he said and looked up for a second.

“Okay, then Alec. How was your pregnancy? Did you have a lot of morning sickness or any problems?”

Alec thought back to his time in the hut and before he left Alicante. “The morning sickness was okay. A bit rougher after I left my- the alpha father. I was tired a lot, couldn’t do too many things. I tried to motivate myself to do some stuff, reading a book or going for a walk, but most of the time I just didn’t do it.”

“Okay. And were you hungry a lot, any cravings?”, the doctor asked.

He shook his head. “My sister – she looked after me while I was pregnant – really talked me into eating sometimes. I just… Sometimes I didn’t even care which day it was, or I didn’t get out of bed”, he admitted.

“And after the birth?”

“It was a bit… different. While my sister brought the, the baby away so that he could be adopted I was sitting outside for example. It also got better when I got back home. It still hurts, that my boy isn’t with me, but at least I’m in contact with the father again. He- he didn’t want children, but I couldn’t bring it over myself to abort, so I left. He still doesn’t know that I was pregnant.”

It felt good to talk to someone else than Izzy about what was happening in his life. Alec swallowed. His throat felt dry.

The doctor looked at him thoughtfully. “That’s very helpful to know, thank you, Alec. Now, am I right in assuming that you didn’t give birth in a hospital?”

Alec nodded. “I was staying in our family’s lake house. My sister helped with the birth, she’s a doctor”, he explained.

“Okay”, doctor Shaw said. “I would like to take a blood and urine sample and examine your uterus and birthing channel if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure”, Alec agreed, and the doctor left to get a nurse.

“You can undress behind the curtain, only lower body. And here is the cup for the urine sample. The toilet is through that door”, she said and smiled at him.

Alec went to the toilet first and then started to undress. He took off his shoes, trousers and underwear and sat on the examination chair. After a few minutes, the doctor returned with the nurse. “Angela will take the blood sample and then I’ll do the physical exam”, doctor Shaw explained.

The nurse took his blood and put it next to the urine sample. Then the examination started. First, the doctor looked at his birthing channel from the outside and then with an ultrasound probe. “I’m gonna take another tissue sample and then we’ll do another ultrasound.”

“Okay”, Alec mumbled.

“Great, then let’s continue.” Before she started the other ultrasound, doctor Shaw started pressing on his belly. “Shiiit”, Alec hissed at the pain. He suddenly felt hot all over. The doctor stopped and went to prepare the probe. The gel for the ultrasound probe was cold on his belly. Alec hissed through clenched teeth for a second. “Sorry, it’s always a little bit cold at the beginning”, she apologized. Alec watched the doctor while she moved the probe on his belly. Her lips were pressed together and he saw the skin around her eyes crinkle.

“Okay, thank you”, she said after a while and cleaned up his skin. “You can get into your clothes again.” After Alec was dressed, he sat opposite of the doctor. “So, I want to wait for the results of the samples I took, but I think you have an infection in your uterus. It can be treated. You would need some medicine and a lot of rest to give your body time to heal. But, like I said I want to wait for the test results to be sure”, the doctor said.

Alec closed his eyes in relief. That… didn’t sound too bad. “Okay, and when do you have the results?”, he wanted to know.

“By tomorrow. I’ll call you and we can discuss your treatment.”

Alec wanted to thank her, but then he remembered his baby boy’s condition. “Is it possible that my baby has the same infection? I’ve heard that he’s sick too.”

“Mh…”, the doctor hummed. “It’s possible. Do you have the contact information of his doctor? Then I could ask them if we can compare your test results. Without sharing your personal information of course. They would only see your tests and know that they’re from the father. Complete confidentiality”, she offered.

“Please. I don’t know the name of the doctor, but I can get you the information you’ll need”, Alec agreed.

“Perfect, then I’ll hear from you soon. Have a nice day.”

. . .

Izzy was waiting in a small café next to the doctor for him. When she saw him she jumped from her seat. “And? What did the doctor say?”, she wanted to know.

Alec sighed. “She thinks it’s an infection in my uterus from giving birth.” Izzy hit him slightly in the ribs. “Oh, I told you not to sit outside after giving birth. Of course, you would get sick! Did she say something about Max?”

“Yes”, Alec said. “I need the contact details of his doctor. Can you get them from Magnus or Clary maybe? She’ll talk to them so that they can compare our blood. If he has the same thing that I have they’ll know.”

Alec smiled and grabbed his sister’s hand. He really hoped that everything would be fine now.

. . .

It was nearly 5 pm when Alec got the call from doctor Shaw the next day. He hadn’t been to work because Isabelle insisted on him staying at home until they knew for sure what he had. Alec had sent the number of Max’s doctor to doctor Shaw after Isabelle had gotten it from Clary.

“Alec Lightwood, hello?”, he said when he answered the phone.

“Alec, it’s doctor Shaw. I have your test results”, she greeted him. “It’s as I thought. You have a postpartum infection in your uterus. I’ve sent your receipt to your pharmacy, you can get the medicine there. The first one is clindamycin plus gentamicin, some antibiotics you take them all at once, it will be two pills. Then you’ll need to take anyphtalein for at least a month. Take three pills a day, one in the morning, afternoon and before you go to bed. And remember a lot of rest, no stress or hard exercise or it could get worse again.”

“Thank you doctor”, Alec said. “Did you hear something from the other doctor about my… my baby?”

Doctor Shaw sighed. “Yes, I’ve been in contact with doctor Miller. We shared our results. Your baby doesn’t have the same infection that you have, but we’ll continue looking. Maybe we’ll find something else in your sample that gives us a lead.”

Alec closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, he realised that his hands were shaking. “Okay. Thank you for letting me know. Can you please call me again if you find something?”

“Of course”, she agreed. “And Alec, I would like for you to come back for another appointment. It’s never easy to give away a child, especially for an omega. I’ve got a feeling that the infection is only part of your illness. Separation from your child can cause severe postpartum depression and I need to know more about the alpha father and your relationship. That’s really important as well. I have a theory that I would like to test.”

“Okay, I’ll call your assistant as soon as I know when I’m available, okay?”, he offered.

“Please do that and not too late!”, she urged.

Alec said goodbye to her and went to the pharmacy. When he came back, he had a bottle of pills with him. He’d taken the two antibiotics on his way home. Isabelle was back from work and greeted him with a plate full of unidentifiable brown glibber on it.

“I’m not gonna try this”, Alec announced as soon as he saw it.

Isabelle pouted. “But-“

“No _but_! I got my meds now; I can’t eat anything like that. What if I have a bad reaction to it?”, he argued.

“Oh, you’ve heard from doctor Shaw?”, Isabelle asked.

“Yes, it’s the infection. Max doesn’t have the same by the way. They’re still looking into our test results from the blood samples though. She said I should rest, but I have to help Magnus with that Idris-deal.”

Alec saw how Isabelle’s face fell.

“Shit, I totally forgot about that!”, she said and hit her forehead with her hand.

“What?”, Alec wanted to know while he got himself a glass of water.

He saw how Isabelle was biting on her lower lip. “Uhm… When I went to see Magnus yesterday, we got interrupted. By Camille. Apparently, she’s the representative from Idris.”

Alec spat out the water he just wanted to drink. “What!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for not updating last week. I realised that I manoeuvred myself into some slight plot problems that I had to fix before I could write this chapter and then 3x17 and the promo for 3x18 happened and let's just say I cried a lot about fanfiction that day and night. But I'm back now, although I have an announcement:  
> I'll be gone from the 12th of May till the end of June and I won't be able to post a new chapter during that time. Until then I'll post one every Sunday and when I'm back as well.  
> So, heads up for that.  
> (Also, I'm no doctor so this is some made up bullshit with the help of google)


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments!  
> Quick hands up at the beginning: medical stuff is mostly made up and we're entering the angsty stuff part of the story. Consider yourself warned!

Of course, the next day Alec was back at work. He took the pills – Anyphtalein or what they were called – but he couldn’t bring himself to stay at home.

Alec had given doctor Shaw a quick overview of Magnus’ and his backgrounds, with Alec’s childhood illnesses and Magnus being from Indonesia and what he remembered him telling Alec. She told him that they would investigate all possible directions, even tropical or inheritable diseases.

Still, he didn’t rest as she advised him to. He could rest later. Every single moment he spent away from Magnus made him feel more on edge. Like Magnus was his north pole and Alec’s compass needle always pointed into his direction.

. . .

As soon as he stepped foot in the office, he saw the looks of his co-workers: calculating, some surprised. Did he look so bad, ill even? But then he heard it. _Her_ laugh. Camille. Everything in Alec urged him to get away from her and to find and stay with Magnus. The only problem, where Magnus was most probably Camille wasn’t that far away. Not unless she’d changed a whole lot in the last few years since Alec had seen her the last time.

Alec held his head high and walked to his office. Halfway there he passed Magnus’ office and of course, Camille was there, sitting on Magnus’ desk, her already short skirt high up her thighs. He didn’t even have a chance to greet Magnus – and ignore Camille of course – before the alpha already looked up at him, nostrils flaring.

“Alexander, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay at home. Did the doctor tell you that it’s alright to come to work?”, Magnus wanted to know and stood up to walk to him.

Alec breathed in and enjoyed how his omega settled inside him. The dull aching in his chest got better now that he was so close to Magnus again. “Hey. Yes, it’s okay that I’m back at work. The doctor said it’s only a small infection and nothing that’s contagious. I’ll be okay in a few days. How is it going here? Did I miss something?”

Magnus smiled at him with warm eyes. Alec felt his heart flutter. Of course, Camille had to destroy their little moment. “Magnus, darling. Why do you never listen when I’m talking to you? First, you’re always looking at your phone and as soon as someone walks by your office you jump up and abandon me. I understand that you’re worried about that… child, but please, we’re working here”, Camille said with that bittersweet voice of hers.

_‘Camille knows about Max?’_ , Alec wondered.

Some of his surprise must have shown on his face because Magnus chose his words so that Alec would understand what had happened. “Leave me be, Camille. I only told you about the child so you would stop pestering me why I was always looking at my phone. I’m waiting for news from Max, Alexander. Apparently, the doctor has found something to compare Max’s bloodwork with”, he explained.

“Oh, okay. That sounds good. See you later”, Alec said and reluctantly left Magnus’ office. He nearly ran into a young man when he stepped into the hallway. “Sorry”, he mumbled, but the other guy ignored him.

“Jonathan, there you are”, he heard Camille say.

. . .

Alec couldn’t concentrate on his work. His mind constantly shifted to Magnus and Camille who were sitting together just a few steps away from him. He knew that it was no coincidence that she was here. She wanted something from Magnus. The only question was what exactly she was after.

When it was time for his second pill of the day Alec was glad to turn away from his laptop for a few minutes. He grabbed a bottle of water from his desk and took a few sips before he swallowed a pill. “Damn”, Alec muttered when the cap of the pill bottle fell to the floor. He put the bottle on his desk and tried to find the cap. Footsteps approached his office, then someone entered it. Finally, Alec found the cap and stood up again. When he looked at the desk, his medicine was gone.

Not gone, as he realised quickly. It was in the person's hands who had entered his office while he was looking for the cap. It was Camille of all people.

“What do we have here?”, she said and read the name of the pills. Alec snatched the bottle from her fingers.

“Nothing that should interest you”, he snarled and pressed the cap on the bottle and pushed it in his trouser pocket.

Camille looked at him as if she wanted to fix a calculation. Then she sighed. “You know, I never really understood what Magus found so special about you. At best you are… average. Barely.” Alec’s teeth ground over each other. “You were never good enough for him and I’m glad he’s finally realised that and let you go. Don’t even think about trying to _win him back_ ”, Camille snarled. Her normally pretty face looked ugly with her dark, threatening eyes, her mouth twisted.

Alec already felt himself shrinking. Camille had always had a way to get at him. To press where it not only hurt but scratched him until he bled dry. “You have always been nothing more but a minor inconvenience. Let’s keep it that way and leave. Magnus. Alone. He belongs to me.”

Alec stumbled back a little bit, he had problems to breathe again. Camille was looking down at him. Smirking.

“Camille, are you here?” Alec could hear Magnus’ call. Why was everyone against him today?

“I’m here honey!”, Camille said and raised her voice, while Alec was still struggling to control his raging heartbeat.

“That’s not the toilet”, Magnus remarked as he entered Alec’s office. Alec could feel Magnus’ eyes on him.

Camille stepped between the two of them, her hand instantly on Magnus’ chest. “Oh, I just stumbled upon Alessandro here on my way back to you. By the way, how about we’re going out tonight, eh? Maybe Italian, I know how much you love pasta”, Camille purred in the alpha’s ear.

Alec tried to not look at them, but his eyes wouldn’t leave Camille’s hand on Magnus’ chest.

“Camille, don’t”, Magnus said and put some space between the two of them. “Please, wait in my office for me. And I already have places to be tonight”, he added. Alec felt a weight lifting from his chest, especially when Camille left, and Magnus smiled at him. “Are you okay, Alexander?”, he asked with a soft voice.

Suddenly, Alec felt the weight of the pill bottle in his trousers. It felt as if it was burning a hole in his leg. “Y- Yes, thank you”, he stammered.

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but the ringing of his phone interrupted him. As soon as he looked at the screen, his eyebrows furrowed. “Give me a sec”, he mumbled towards Alec. “Jocelyn, do you have any news?” Magnus was quiet for a few seconds, listening to whatever Jocelyn was saying.

Alec saw how Magnus’ face lost its colour. His hands started to tremble.

“What!? Okay, I’m coming immediately. No, I want to be there for you… If you think so. But he’s stable now, right? Yes, see you soon. And thank you for the call, Jocelyn. Stay strong”, Magnus said and ended the conversation. He was quiet for a few seconds and Alec didn’t dare to say anything. “I… I have to go back to Camille and her chihuahua”, Magnus mumbled, the tips of his fingers pressing against the bridge of his nose.

Alec swallowed. “Is everything okay?”, he asked. Magnus hesitated, then he sighed. “It’s Max, the baby. They had to transfer him to Alicante General. His vitals are getting worse. I asked Jocelyn to keep me updated. They’re still not sure what he has exactly, though apparently, they have a lead now. Luke’s with her. Max is calm around him now as well. Jocelyn told me that she thinks it’s because Luke and I are both alphas. Max’s birth parents must be an αΩ-couple. But she’s a beta so she doesn’t emit the same hormones that we do”, Magnus explained.

“Is there anything I can do?”, Alec wanted to know.

Magnus’ smile was a little bit forced. “Just… Be there, I guess. It’s nice. To be able to talk to you. It keeps me going. I’m just so glad that I’ll never have kids and therefore never be in this kind of a mess.”

“Of course”, Alec whispered and pressed Magnus’ hand for a few seconds. Then he forced himself to let go again.

“Magnus!” They could both hear Camille’s cry for the alpha. They sighed simultaneously, then they smiled knowingly at each other.

“I’m coming!”, Magnus shouted back. Alec sat back behind his desk and debated with himself whether or not he should call doctor Shaw and ask her for updates. It wasn’t the first time Alec wondered how much longer he was able to keep Magnus in the dark and if he really still wanted to stay silent. A little part of him still hoped that the three of them could be a family. Maybe Magnus could change his mind, Alec wondered. But then he remembered why he hadn’t told Magnus about Max in the first place.

Alec felt pressure on his heart again. He tried to relax. It was hard.

. . .

Alec was eating dinner with Isabelle and Simon when he got the call from doctor Shaw. He excused himself from the table and went to his room to answer the call. Even though he had been living in Isabelle’s and Simon’s flat for a few weeks already he still hadn’t found the energy to look for his own place. Maybe he was weak, but he still hoped that Magnus and him… That they weren’t done yet.

He sat down on his bed, breathing in one more time.

“Alec, hello. I’ve got news”, the doctor said. “Are you somewhere where you can talk?”

“Yes”, he answered, fearing her response.

“Good. We’ve found something in yours and Max’s test results. That are the good news.” Doctor Shaw sighed. “It’s a slow virus called RAV201.”

Alec felt tears in his eyes. “That’s- that’s good, right? Or-“ His heart nearly stopped. “It’s treatable, or not?”

“Alec, I’m really sorry. Yes, it’s treatable, but the problem is that it’s a really rare virus and there are no treatments for it unless we produce a serum ourselves. And here are the bad news.”

_‘That wasn’t the bad news already?’_ , Alec wondered. He was already shaking all over.

“We’re really lucky that we even found the virus in your blood, the infection of your uterus was overlapping the results first. But, even though you have the same virus in your blood, we can’t synthesise a serum out of it for your son.”

“Why not?”, Alec demanded to know.

“The virus is inactive in your body. That means that it never attacked your system and therefore your immune system never built antibodies against it. But we need those antibodies for the serum”, she explained.

Alec was silently crying already. It _was_ his fault that his baby was ill. His fault, his fault, _his fault!_ He had failed! Not only himself but also his baby boy.

“Alec? Alec, do you hear me?”, doctor Shaw said.

Alec sniffled and tried to wipe away the tears from his cheeks. “Yes?”

“Okay, as I said, the virus is inactive in your blood, which means you must have caught it from someone who had had an active outbreak. The virus is only permitted through sexual intercourse and you told me that you’ve only had sex with your alpha, so…”

Alec thought he would die. “So”, he finished doctor Shaw’s sentence. “You need the alpha’s blood. Because he has the antibodies in his blood that you need for the serum. To- to save our son.”

“Yes, Alec. We need the blood of the other father.”


	12. Chapter 11

Numb. Alec felt numb all over. Was his heart still beating? He didn’t know. He didn’t care. He still held his phone in his hands, wondering which gods he had wronged. Why did he have such a catastrophic life? It had been hard enough to lose Magnus – if only temporary – and then losing their son. Hadn’t he suffered enough already?

A hesitant knock sounded from the door. Alec wiped over his eyes and tried to find his voice again.

_‘We need the blood of the other father.’_

“Yes?”, he croaked. Slowly, the door opened, and Isabelle looked at him.

“Can I come in?”, she asked, hesitating.

“Sure.”

She walked in, closed the door behind her and sat next to Alec on the bed. “Bad news?”, Isabelle asked.

Alec wanted to laugh. Loud and shrill. Like a maniac. Instead, he tried to regain his senses. “Depends on your point of view, I would say”, he murmured, pressing the palms of his hands over his eyes. “Doctor Shaw told me that they’ve found what makes Max sick. Some virus. And he… he must have gotten it from me, but I’ve got it from Magnus and now they need _his_ blood and I don’t know if I can do that.” Alec swallowed and tried to concentrate on breathing.

“I thought about telling him. _So often,_ you know that! But, every time I talk myself into it or even consider it for one fraction of a second, I see his face, I hear his voice. How he tells me how much he doesn’t want to have kids; how glad he is to never be a father. It’s like he’s stabbing me with a knife, every single time. And it hurts so much, Izzy. I don’t know what he’ll do when he finds out that I kept being pregnant from him. I don’t know”, Alec sobbed.

“Sh, it’s going to be fine. We’ll find a way, I’ll promise you, Alec”, Isabelle tried to soothe him.

“But how?”, Alec argued. “I mean, yes I could just ask doctor Shaw to take blood from Jocelyn and Luke and Clary – oh and of course Magnus – and maybe she could pretend that it’s some other disease and so on, but I don’t _want_ to do that. I’m tired of lying, of pretending. But I also can’t stop, because I’ve already put myself into a position where I can’t see myself getting out of.”

Alec looked into Isabelle’s eyes, trying to figure out if she could understand his struggle. “I don’t think I can live with myself if I just keep pretending that I was somewhere in fucking Canada instead of betraying the one person that means the most to me! What fucked up person am I, that I keep the wellbeing of my non-existent relationship with Magnus over the wellbeing of our son? What does that say about me, Izzy?”

Isabelle was quiet for a long time, just holding him and letting Alec sob into her shoulder. He felt so empty. “I think, Alec, that you are one of the strongest and most selfless people that I know. You’ve put Magnus’ wish to not have children over your wish to keep your baby as far as you could. Yes, you should’ve told him, but you had good reasons not to say a word about Max to Magnus. I know you, Alec, you always try to make it right for everyone and you always consider your own happiness last.”

Alec sobbed harder. Life wasn’t fair. It just kept throwing stones and sharp, cutting branches in his way.

“Alec, why don’t you consider being selfish once?”, Isabelle asked. “Tell Magnus and maybe Jocelyn to be sure that they take a blood sample before Magnus explodes and does something dumb. And then see what happens. Maybe Magnus will surprise you and if not… Well, then at least you can say that you’ve tried, and you can have your baby back. I always wanted to be an aunt.”

Isabelle tried to make him laugh. It didn’t work. “But what if I lose Magnus? I just regained his trust. I can’t lose him again, Izzy. It hurts too much when he isn’t here with me. Why can’t I have both him and Max, Izzy? Why can’t I have that?”, Alec asked.

“I don’t know, big bro. But sometimes life is like that. We don’t always get what we want, even when it’s what we wish to have the most.”

Alec thought about her words. “Thanks, Izzy. I think I’ll talk to doctor Shaw tomorrow.” He hesitated, then Alec added: “Does it make me a coward if I don’t tell Magnus the truth, but only until Max is better?”

“You mean you want the doctors at the hospital to take Magnus’ blood without telling him that he’s the father?”

“Yes, but only until Max is better. I don’t know how Magnus will react. What if he refuses to give a sample or, or he’s so angry with me that he- I don’t know. I have to tell him, I know that and I will. But I don’t want to have to tell him some sum up of what happened between a door and the emergency room.”

Isabelle nodded her head. “It’s your decision, Alec. But please promise me that you _will_ tell Magnus the truth.”

Alec sat up straight. “Yes, I promise.”

“Good. I’m proud of you, brother”, Isabelle said and hugged Alec tighter.

. . .

Alec was nervous when he arrived at the office the next morning. He was extra early to be there before Magnus arrived. His phone pinged when he stepped foot in the hallway toward his office.

 _‘Don’t forget: call doctor Shaw + make appointment with her office for second exam’_ , he read the reminder. Alec put his phone back into his pocket and entered his office.

Someone was already inside, sitting on his desk like she owned the place. “Look who dares to come back”, Camille said sugar-sweet and smiled at him.

Alec hesitated, then he stepped into his office. “What do you want?”, he asked, voice cold.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought I would head by for a chat, you know? See how you are, have you taken your pills already? A uterus infection is nothing you should ignore.”

Suddenly, it was dead silent.

Alec felt himself panic. _‘She knows, she knows, how? How does she know!_ He tried to keep his voice normal. “What are you talking about?”, he said with a surprisingly steady voice.

“Your little pill bottle – Anyphtalein. It sounded so familiar, you know. A friend of mine had the same little problem you seem to have now. After she gave birth.” Her eyes hardened. “But you see, there is the problem. I googled a bit because you never know, but Anyphtalein is only prescribed after someone had a child and then an infection, not for other uterus infections. And I don’t see a child anywhere with you and we both know Magnus never _ever_ wants to be a daddy. So, who’s the other father, mh? I must admit, I never thought you were a cheater. Didn’t think you had it in you. Consider me surprised, impressed even. Maybe Magnus _does_ have a type.”

Alec wanted to vomit. Camille knew! And now she accused him of _cheating_!? “I would never betray Magnus like that! _He is my world_ ”, he nearly screamed.

Camille looked surprised for a second then she recovered and laughed. “This is gold! Do you really want to tell me that _Magnus_ is the father? No way, he would never be so careless. That must have been one hell of an accident and even then he wouldn’t want it-“ Her eyes widened.

“Oh”, she said. “Oh, now I understand. He doesn’t know. You never told him that you were pregnant. But what about the child, where is-“ Camille laughed again. Longer this time. “You stupid idiot! You gave the child to his _mother_!? And thought he wouldn’t figure it out? He’s dumb with such things, would never expect you to betray him like that, but even _Magnus Bane_ would eventually figure it out eventually!”

Alec stayed silent. He didn’t know what to say. Camille – cold-hearted, always looking for her advantage – Belcourt had figured him out in no time. “What do you want?”, he croaked out, voice shaking.

Camille smiled like the devil. She had him and she knew it. “Leave. Don’t stand in my way. You’re the only reason Magnus can’t be happy. You make him weak. You hold him back. You see, after I left, he chose you because he knew you were easy to have. Like a puppy, always looking for love, running in circles around him. Don’t you know that Magnus knew from the beginning what you felt for him? And yet he stayed with me until _I_ left him. You were always a second choice for him, and you always will be. As long as no one better comes around he might keep you, but then he’ll cut you lose again. Especially when he knows about that child. Nothing could make him hate you more than knowing that he is that child’s father. Knowing that he couldn’t prevent its existence!”

Camille had started to walk towards Alec while she bombarded him with her words. Alec stumbled back, but she kept on crowding him against the wall, then the still open door. Alec did the only thing he could think of. He stumbled around, running out of his office. His vision was blurred from unshed tears, so he didn’t recognise the person he stumbled into before he managed to flee the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Magnus POV
> 
> And as always, thanks for your feedback!!!


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, but the next one will be up next Saturday. 
> 
> !Please keep in mind that next week's update will be the last one before I'll be gone till approx. end of June!

Magnus was worried. He’d just spent the early hours of the morning at the hospital with Jocelyn. She’d been staying there for longer and longer. Little Max wasn’t getting better. Absentmindedly, Magnus rubbed his chest over the place where his heart was. He didn’t know why, but every time he saw little Max, he felt this… urge to be close to him and never let him out of his sight again. Even at the hospital and that was saying something!  
  
Magnus hated hospitals and doctors with a passion. Ever since that incidence when he himself had still been a child- He shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts. The past was the past and he always tried to stay out of it. He continued walking towards his car.  
  
Jocelyn was afraid that little Max wouldn’t be strong enough to push through whatever it was that was making him sick. She’d told him that apparently, it was some kind of virus. Very rare, not easy to treat.  
  
“Magnus!”, someone shouted after him. With a smile on his lips, he turned around.  
  
“My dear Catarina, just done with your shift, or starting now?”, he asked one of his best friends. Catarina smiled at him and rubbed her eyes.  
  
“Done for today. Fortunately. What about you? What are you doing here?”  
  
“I just visited Jocelyn and her latest foster acquisition, Max.”  
  
Catarina’s smile stretched thin. “Oh, the little baby on 3R? He’s a cute little kid, I hope he’ll make it”, she sighed.  
  
Magnus focused on the trees behind Catarina. “Yeah, me too. Jocelyn would be devastated if something happens to him.” He tried to lift up his the corners of his mouth for a lazy smile, but his muscles wouldn’t cooperate. Catarina observed him, then she stepped closer towards him and pulled him in for a hug.  
  
“It’ll be fine! What do you say to breakfast? We haven’t really hung out for weeks. You’re so busy and I’m nearly always on shift”, she said.  
  
Magnus didn’t even have to think about it before he agreed. “Sounds lovely. We can take my car and afterwards I can give you a ride to your place before I head towards work myself.”  
  
. . .  
  
They went to their favourite café at the main square. Magnus ordered a black coffee and a bagel and Catarina decided on a green tea and a light smoothie.  
  
“No coffee?”, Magnus asked with a grin. Catarina shook her head vehemently.  
  
“Not after this shift. All I want to do after you bring me home is head straight into bed and sleep till it’s dark outside again.”  
  
They chatted lightly for a bit about work and the rest of their friends. “So, I’ve heard both Alec and Camille are back. How are you holding up?”, she wanted to know.  
  
Magnus sighed. Just thinking about Camille made his head hurt. But Alexander… A small smile played around his lips.  
  
“Oh, I know that smile! Spill, Magnus”, Catarina giggled.  
  
“Camille is the death of me”, he grumbled. “I want her gone. Preferably yesterday, but she’s hellbent on staying here until all this stuff for the festival is sorted out. Which, by the way, takes ages because she’s always getting off topic and her little hunchling is creeping around in the working space everywhere but not in my office where he should be.” His fingers scratched over the table cloth. These two were driving him insane.  
  
“That’s Camille”, Catarina said. “To be honest, I would be surprised if she’d act differently. I never knew what you saw in her. None of us did.”  
  
Magnus put his hands over his eyes. “Yes, thank you very much for that. I know I deserve it”, he mumbled, then he continued to sip his coffee.  
  
Catarina wiggled with her eyebrows. She’s good at that. “And, Alec?”  
  
Magnus couldn’t help the grin that lit up his face.  
  
“Oh!”, Catarina swooned.  
  
Magnus swallowed another sip of coffee. “Alexander, yes.”  
  
Waiting for him to continue, Catarina watched Magnus like a hawk.  
  
“What can I say? I told you after he left me that I never wanted to see him again and yet… Now that he’s back, I feel this constant need to be close to him, to scent him or even just touch him”, he tried to explain.  
  
His friend nodded. “You two wanted to bond before he left. It doesn’t surprise me that you feel like that now. It’s kind of a rebound for your system after you’ve been apart for so long”, she explained.  
  
“Sounds logic. But Catarina, do you think it would be unwise of me to let him in again?”  
  
She was silent for a few seconds. “Magnus Bane. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and best. When you love, you love fiercely, with no coming back. But if someone betrays your love, you crash and burn like Icarus. I’ve seen you with Imasu, Camille and all the others. And I’ve seen you with Alec. I can’t answer your questions for you. Just, listen to your heart, okay?  
  
Magnus thought Catarina’s words over in his head. Maybe she had a point. And then he knew what he wanted to do.  
  
. . .  
  
On his way to the office from Catarina’s home, Magnus whistled to himself. He’s in a good mood. In a very good mood. The day might not have started bright, but it was getting better and better. He wanted to ask Alexander to go out with him. On a date.  
  
Just thinking about it made Magnus shiver. He’s so excited!  
  
Magnus was still whistling when he entered the office. He first went to his own office to put his stuff away, then he planned on going to Alec’s. He’s so focused on his goal that he nearly missed the neatly placed paper on top of his desk.  
  
He hadn’t put it there and his people knew better than to just throw stuff on his desk. He’d a special place for everything, so this piece of paper was out of line Magnus snatched it from the desk and began to read. After only a few sentences in, he stumbled backwards.  
  
It was a letter of resignation. From Alexander.  
  
Magnus didn’t know what to feel. Had he misinterpreted Alexander’s behaviour? After taking a deep breath, he continued to read. “I hereby resign… Please accept this… Yours sincerely, A. Lightwood”, he read out. Confused, Magnus stumbled out of his office and towards Alexander’s.  
  
As soon as he stepped inside, he knew that something was wrong.  
  
Alexander reeked of anxiety and fear. His eyes widened when he saw Magnus. “Alex-“, Magnus began, but Alexander interrupted him.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Magnus, but I can’t do this anymore. It… it won’t work, okay? And it was a bad idea of me to come back here”, he stumbled over his words. Tears were threatening to spill over his eyes. Alexander held a box in his hands – all his office belongings, Magnus realised – and took a step back. Away from Magnus.  
  
He seemed certain of his decision, then something changed in his eyes. “There is something we need to talk about. Not here and not now. I’ll call you. Soon.”  
  
And then he was gone, and Magnus didn’t know what to do. He felt empty, once again.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise!  
> I checked the plot a few days ago and thought that I couldn't leave you with this chapter as the last one before I go, so here is one surprise chapter.   
> Also, as you might remember I didn't post a chapter on a Sunday a few weeks ago, so I thought it was only fair to make the number even again.

Restless, Alec drove back to Izzy’s and Simon’s place. He was angry at himself. Camille, fucking Camille! Alec parked in front of the house and carried his box upstairs. Everything hurt again, flaring over his skin like liquid fire. And he was not the only one who was hurt at the moment.

_Magnus, oh god Magnus!_

Alec tried to breathe and relax his shoulders. He had to do it. He had a plan now.

First, he had to make sure that Camille wouldn’t fell provoked so that she wouldn’t tell Magnus about Max out of spite. Alec was so afraid to run into her when he gathered his thinks that he was completely unprepared for Magnus standing in his office. He can’t really remember what he’d said to him. Only that he’ll call him soon. Because he had to tell him about Max.

Alec couldn’t and wouldn’t wait any longer. He called Izzy and asked her to take Simon and have a nice night out so that he could talk to Magnus and had the place for themselves. “Be careful, big brother”, Isabelle had said.

He prepared everything for Magnus’ arrival. Alec even practised what he wanted to say. Then he had to hold back his tears. He had to stay strong. His phone chimed; it was his reminder for the pills. He ignored it, again. There were more important things to do now.

Shivering, he called his alpha and called again, but Magnus didn’t pick up.

. . .

He felt hurt. Hurt and confused. Magnus didn’t know what he’d done wrong. He’d really thought that Alexander and him- that they had another chance for a future together. Now, he didn’t know what to do. What to think of the situation.

He was missing something. Something vital.

Sitting back in his chair, Magnus grabbed his phone and dialled the number of his best friend. It took ages, but finally, Ragnor picked up. “What?”, he asked, grumpy as ever.

“Hello to you too, my darling cabbage”, Magnus said. He heard Ragnor’s shuffling in the background.

“What is it? You wouldn’t disturb me from working just out of spite.”

Magnus wanted to answer, but then he realised how much his hands were shaking. He balled the one hand that wasn’t holding his phone to his ear to a fist. “It’s about Alexander”, he mumbled.

Ragnor sighed loudly. “When isn’t it about him? I have to admit; I don’t miss the bi-weekly calls that you gave me only for you to gush over your man. I went to London for a reason.” When Magnus didn’t say anything, Ragnor continued. “So, what is it about Alexander that you want to tell me this time? You already told me that he’s back. Is the wedding happening now or why are you calling?”

Magnus swallowed thickly. “No, quite the opposite”, he confessed and Magnus told him about everything that had happened since their last conversation a few weeks ago. Ragnor listened without interrupting, he only had to laugh when Magnus told him about Camille.

“That snake, keep an eye on her. You’ve always been rather blind for her games”, Ragnor murmured after Magnus had finished. “And I agree with you, there seems to be something missing in the great picture. Something that you are not aware of. Why don’t you talk to your Alexander? I mean, he offered to talk to you, right?”

Before Magnus could answer, his phone alerted him of an incoming call. He put the phone away from his ear so that he could see the caller ID: _Alexander_

He pressed the ignore button and continued his conversation with Ragnor. Alexander had to wait for a few more minutes. “He just tried to call me”, Magnus said.

“Then why didn’t you answer?”, his friend wanted to know.

“Because I first need your advice before I can talk to him. What do I do? I… I _love_ him. Still, do, never stopped actually. But what if he breaks my heart again? What if he leaves and won’t come back this time or he has someone else?”, Magnus asked.

Ragnor chuckled. “He, loving someone that isn’t you? I admit I have only met him a few times, but that was enough to see how much Alexander cares about you. He would do _anything_ for you, Magnus, even burn down the ground he stood on. I have seen this kind of behaviour before. Let me tell you the same thing I told you when he left the day before your wedding: that boy must have had one hell of a good reason for just leaving you like that and becoming a runaway groom. Talk to him, Magnus. Preferably now to save the rest of us from your heartbreak and more communication problems.” And with those words, Ragnor ended the conversation.

Magnus gapped at his phone. When his display returned to the start feed, he saw that he had two more missed calls from Alexander and one text message.

_`Please meet me at Izzy’s, I have to tell you something important.´_

He looked at his phone for another few seconds, then he grabbed his jacket and headed out. Magnus wanted answers. He was just about to press the call button to inform Alexander that he was on his wa, when he heard the other's voice.

Magnus stopped a few feet away from Alexander’s office. The voice was to quiet for him to understand what he was saying. Then he heard Camille’s voice, loud and clear: “This is my favourite part”, she exclaimed.

Fearing what he was about to hear, Magnus peered closer until he stood just behind Alexander’s half open door., out of sight of the people who were in the office, but now he could hear and see what was going on. Camille and this Sebastian guy were standing next to each other and focussing on something in Sebastian’s hand. The something was a mobile phone, as Magnus realised when the talking began.

They were watching a video. And then he concentrated on what he could hear.

_“…_ _I must admit, I never thought you were a cheater. Didn’t think you had it in you. Consider me surprised, impressed even. Maybe Magnus does have a type.”_

Magnus felt cold all over.

_“I would never betray Magnus like that! He is my world.”_

Alexander!

_“This is gold! You really want to tell me that Magnus is the father?-“_

What? WHAT! What were they talking about? Magnus had to hold himself upwards, his fingers were clawing at the door frame.

This… This couldn’t be what he thought it was. Camille laughed loudly and Sebastian stopped the recording before it could go on. “See, I told you that boy is an idiot. At least he’s gone for good now and hopefully takes that child of his with him. And thanks to this little video we can make sure that he stays away. Maybe I’ll send him a copy of it in a few days when you’ve sent it to me. What do I always say, _prepare to fair, never fail to prepare!_ ”, Camille said light-heartedly to Sebastian.

And Magnus felt fire igniting in his veins. He was angry, oh so angry! At Camille and at Alexander. Was there a _child_? There couldn’t be!

Before he thought more about it, Magnus pushed all information and _could be’s_ away. First, he had Camille and Sebastian to deal with. Then, oh then he would go and confront Alexander.

Magnus didn’t care who heard or saw him. He stormed into Alexander’s office and stared down the two people in front of him. Camille was quick in putting on her game face. Sebastian wasn’t. “How dare you!”, he snarled.

“Magnus, darling! I was just about to go to your office. I’ve heard that Alexander signed in his resignation. I’m so glad that you finally got rid of this silly little boy. How about we go out and have lunch together?”, she asked.

Magnus had to control himself in order to not slap her in the face. “Leave, both of you. And never, ever come back. I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice again. You’ve poisoned me enough already, Camille. It’s time for you to find someone else to torment. But not me, never again”, he hissed.

Camille’s façade crumbled. “But Magnus honey…”, she tried, but Magnus was seething.

“Leave!”

Sebastian fled first, but before he could press himself between the alpha and the door, Magnus snatched the phone from his hands. It was still unlocked. “This stays with me. And if I find out that there is another copy of this video somewhere out there, I will come for you!”

He could feel himself pumping out alpha pheromones like a factory. The beta in front of him whimpered as the full wave of pheromones rushed over his senses. Magnus' eyes flashed alpha red. “Did I make myself clear!?”

“Yes, alpha!”, Sebastian said and left. Magnus made sure that the phone wouldn’t lock itself, then he focussed all his attention on Camille.

Her smile was gone. She stared at him with calculating eyes. “What? You seriously want to run back to that runt of yours?” She laughed, dirty. “Don’t try to play games with me, _I_ know why you never wanted kids, but from dear Alexander’s reaction, I don’t think he knows the whole story. Or does he, Magnus? Does he know about your _daddy_? And who or _what_ he was?”

Before he knew it, Magnus stood directly in front of Camille, only a handspan apart from touching her. “Shut. Your. Mouth. You’ve played with me and my life for the longest time. Fuck off”, he said, punctuating every syllable.

Camille got her bag and coat, then she went to the door where she turned around for one last time. “You know, maybe it’s for the best that he left. After all, who could love such an abomination like yourself? And we two, we’re not done yet.”

And then she was gone. Magnus felt all the air leave his lungs. His fingers were shaking when he took another look at the screen of the phone in his hands. Should he watch the rest of the video? No, he wanted to hear it from Alexander.

He stood up and went to his car, firing a text message to Alexander, letting him know that he was on his way.

_`Please, let there be no child, please´,_ he begged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It would have been really unfair to leave after posting this chapter, right? Stay on your tippy toes till Saturday and leave me a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter!


	15. Chapter 14

Waiting was never one of Alec’s strong personality traits when it concerned people he deeply cared about. He could be as patient as a sharking lurking for its prey in court or against opposing council, but right now, he was a mess.

His hands were shaking uncontrollably, stomach churning while he power-walked from one end of the living room to the other. Every few seconds he was looking at his phone for the time or to check whether Magnus had written him another message.

When the doorbell finally rang, Alec had to suppress the need to vomit. His heart was beating frantically and he felt hot all over only to shiver from a sudden cold feeling a few seconds later. He definitely needed this second appointment with doctor Shaw.

One last time, Alec closed his eyes and tried to memorise this exact moment. Maybe it was the last one where Magnus would look at him without disgust or barely controlled anger. Then, he walked to the front door and opened it.

“Hello Magnus, thank you for coming”, he said and took a step back to make space for the alpha to enter. Alec couldn’t read the emotions in Magnus’ face. The alpha stalked inside and went directly towards the living room. Slowly, Alec closed the door and followed him.

Before he could say a word, Magnus was already all over him. “Care to explain this to me?”, he snarled and pushed a phone in Alec’s face. Alec took a step back. Magnus was practically vibrating with suppressed energy.

Alec focussed on the phone and not Magnus’ stony face. It took him a few moments to figure our what he saw. A picture. Of himself and Camille, her back was towards the camera. Alec’s fingers touched the screen and he made a startling noise when the picture suddenly changed.

It wasn’t a picture… It was a video!

_´Oh no!´,_ Alec thought after he’d heard only a few words. This was his conversation with Camille about Magnus and Max. He tapped the screen again to make the video stop. Alec didn’t even realise that the shaking in his hands had gotten worse. He breathed in deeply, but Magnus’ barely controlled furious alpha scent made it impossible for Alec to focus.

_He knows!_

“So, you know”, Alec said, his voice breaking. He didn’t dare to look into Magnus’ eyes. Without waiting for an answer, he put the phone away and folded his arms in front of his body.

“Do I? Actually, I don’t know what to make of this clip. I’ve only heard a few sentences and I didn’t want to watch the rest of it until I talked to you”, Magnus explained through gritted teeth. “So, talk to me. I guess what you _discussed_ in this clip with Camille is the reason why you wanted to talk to me.”

Alec stood up straighter. This was his chance to make at least a few of his wrongs right. “Yes, it is. Although I didn’t know of the existence of this video.” The person who he ran into after storming out of his office must have recorded it, he realised.

Magnus nodded abruptly.

“Do… do you want to sit down for this?”, Alec asked”.

“No, I think I prefer to stand”, Magnus shot back.

“Okay. I… I lied to you, Magnus. When I left the day before our wedding. I didn’t just leave because there were some things I had to think about and figure out. Trust me, walking away that day was one of the hardest decisions of my life. But I felt that I had to do that.”

Magnus listened to every word that left Alec’s mouth.

“Do you remember when I got sick from that pho soup a few weeks before the wedding?”

The alpha’s eyes darkened. Alec knew, that Magnus had a guess on what would come next. “Well, apparently the soup wasn’t bad. I just… Magnus, I had to vomit because I was pregnant.”

Silence filled the room. Alec observed Magnus’ every move. First, he didn’t react at all. That only lasted for a few seconds. Then Magnus stumbled and had to catch himself on the couch. Alec rushed forward, but Magnus growled at him: “Don’t touch me!”

It felt like a slap in the face. His stomach started to ball itself together into a tight mass. Magnus’ harsh breathing was loud in the otherwise quiet room. “What happened to _the child_?”, Magnus said, his voice shaking as much as his body.

When Alec didn’t answer immediately, he repeated his question, roaring at Alec. _“What happened to it!?”_

The omega flinched back. “I… I gave birth to it and then I came back to you. Because I knew that you don’t want kids, so I thought… I couldn’t give you up, Magnus. I couldn’t lose you”, he stammered. Tears were blurring his vision.

“No”, Magnus mumbled. “No, no, no. This can’t be. This is not allowed to happen. This can’t be.”

Alec took a hesitant step towards Magnus, his arms stretched towards the alpha, palms of his hands facing the ceiling. Magnus’ head snapped up. He was looking Alec in the eyes. His normally brown-green eyes were shining as if a thunderstorm was roaring in Magnus’ head.

“How could you? This was never supposed to happen. _This can’t be happening!_ You knew that I don’t want kids. Why didn’t you respect that? And how did you even get pregnant? We’re both on birth control!”, Magnus wanted to know.

“Magnus. This baby, _our_ baby. It’s a part of both of us. I could never get rid of something that belongs to us”, Alec argued.

“So, you wanted this child!? Did you exchange my pills so that you could have it?”

“I would never do that, Magnus. This was an accident, it wasn’t planned. Remember when we both had the flue the week before our next heat and rut? Antibiotics and contraceptives apparently don’t mix well together.” Alec sighed. “I was okay with not having kids, but when I learned that I was pregnant…” He started smiling, only a little bit, but it seemed to be enough for Magnus.

“How dare you! How dare you for taking the chance to decide whether I wanted to have this child away from me!”, he screamed.

“But you never would have bothered to hear my opinion or accepted _my_ decision!”, Alec screamed back. “You never would have even considered for one second that maybe this child wasn’t a curse. Did you forget that night, when you came back from dinner with Crissi and Don? I wanted to tell you that I was pregnant that evening. But you were so occupied with ranting about what a death sentence it was to have kids, that you would make sure that you would never have children and you wanted me to do the same! How do you think that made me feel? What if I had told you about the baby that night? Would you have forced me into having an abortion?”

Magnus' mouth closed with a loud _´clack`_. Alec could see how his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. “Is… is this how you think of me?”, Magnus asked, surprisingly calm.

Sighing, Alec rubbed his nose. “No, but can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t have urged me to have an abortion?” The silence that followed was answer enough. “See? Blame me or even hate me for not telling you and just leaving you like that, but don’t judge me for wanting to make sure that my, _our_ child would be safe. Even from us.”

Alec didn’t know for how much longer he could do this. He felt empty. At least now Magnus knew. Not everything, not yet, but Alec was about to tell him. “Do you know how hard it was to just leave him like that? I didn’t even look at him after the birth, because I was too afraid that I couldn’t give him away after I had seen him for even a second.”

The tears were back, but Alec didn’t care. He wanted Magnus to see his pain. He now felt as horrible from the outside as he did feel in his body. Every single muscle ached, and his lower belly was on fire again. Maybe he should have taken the pills more regularly.

“You say it’s a he? So… we have a boy?”, Magnus whispered, barely loud enough for Alec to understand. He smiled sadly.

“Yes. We have a boy.” He took another deep breath. “You’ve seen him already.”

“What?”, Magnus said disbelievingly. “How?”

“It’s… It’s Max. The baby Jocelyn looks after.”

Now Magnus was crying too. “What”, he mumbled and stared at Alec, shock written all over his face.

Alec nodded. “Izzy helped me. I wanted her to bring him to New York, but she put him in the church here. Said that at least now I had a chance to change my mind if I wanted to have him back.”

“Max…”, Magnus mumbled. “And I thought you reacted to the name. But it was him. You didn’t know that Jocelyn had him.”

Alec shook his head. Magnus covered his eyes with his hands. “Why are you telling me all of this now? Is it because of Camille?”

“No, I wanted to tell you before, but she figured out that I was pregnant so I had to make sure that she wouldn’t tell you a thing. Guess that didn’t work out.” Magnus smiled a little bit and Alec counted that as a win. Maybe not all was lost.

“I… Magnus, you know that Max is sick, and they tested my blood and figured out what he has, but he didn’t get it from me. He inherited it from you, and they need your blood to create a serum to heal him. Otherwise- He will die without this serum”, Alec explained. He didn’t see how Magnus’ face lost all the colour, how his eyes widened in shock and fear.

“Please Magnus, I beg you. I know you never wanted to be a father and you don’t have to be. I accept that decision. But please, go to the hospital and help Max. He can’t die, you hear me? Not him!”

Only after he finished did Alec look back to Magnus and instinctively took a step back. The openness that he had seen in the alpha’s face was gone, replaced with a barely contained fury. And then all hell broke loose. Magnus screamed; spit was flying from his mouth. He stepped into Alec’s personal space and made him back off further and further.

“… is exactly why I didn’t want children. This can’t be happening. This child is the devil! You- YOU!”

Alec could barely breathe. His lungs weren’t cooperating, his heart was beating too fast. He couldn’t follow Magnus’ rant, he had to concentrate too much on his own body. That stopped working the way it was supposed to.

Out of instinct, his omega released a high-pitched whine and Magnus froze instantly. Omega gold eyes met alpha red. And then something broke in Alec and he collapsed on the floor. The last think he heard was Magnus calling out for him, then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Alec collapses again. Do I sense a pattern here? Maybe...  
> Thank you all you gorgeous people for reading, commenting and kudoing(???) this story!  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and you'll hear from me again at the end of June/beginning of July.


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guess how's back!?   
> I hope you guys are still here and still as excited about this story as I am!   
> The new chapter is written first in Isabelle's and after the bigger cut Catarina's POV.  
> Enjoy!

Isabelle wasn’t surprised when she got the phone call. Actually, she had been waiting for it all evening. The only thing that surprised her was what Magnus said to her when she answered. Instead of being accused of betrayal and being screamed at, the alpha was completely hysterical. For another reason.

“Isabelle! Where are you!? I- Alec. We talked and, and _he told me_ and we screamed at each other and then he collapsed! Should I take him to the hospital? Please, help me!”, he nearly sobbed.

Immediately, Isabelle was serious. “Fuck! Did he just collapse or what happened? Did he take his pills?”, she asked.

Magnus was silent for a few seconds. “He- He just crashed down and I can’t wake him up. What pills?” For a moment, Isabelle thought about telling Magnus, then she looked at Simon who was standing next to her, face serious.

“He has an infection from giving birth. His doctor prescribed Alec some pills, but he’s been so stressed lately that he sometimes forgets or ignores to take them”, she explained.

Magnus gulped then he stammered: “W- What?”

“Get him to the hospital, Magnus. We’ll meet you there and I’ll explain everything to you”, Isabelle decided. She said goodbye to Magnus and closed her eyes. Breathe in and out, then face Simon. Her boyfriend was already looking at her expectantly.

“Baby, I’ll tell you everything. Let’s just get to the car first and drive to the hospital.” Simon didn’t complain, but Isabelle saw how he already tried to fill in some blanks.

“Do you want me to drive? And do you want to call Jace maybe?”, he asked, a matter of fact. Isabelle sighed. That’s what she loved about her boyfriend. He understood that she couldn’t always tell him everything at first, but as soon as she was able to she would. And he always supported her. So while Simon drove them to Alicante General, Isabelle called Jace. That would be interesting!

“Hey Izz, what’s up?”, Jace said when he picked up. Isabelle heard some music playing in the background. It was Clary’s playlist that she always listened to when she painted. Isabelle prepared for the worst.

“Hey, I just got a call from Magnus. He was over at our place to have a much-needed conversation with Alec and Alec kind of collapsed. He’s driving him to the hospital and Simon and I are heading over there as well”, she explained.

Jace didn’t disappoint her. “What! What did Magnus say to him that made Alec react like that? Is he alright? Izz, talk to me”, he demanded. The music in the background stopped.

“Just, meet us at the hospital. I think we’ll get some answers there”, Isabelle sighed.

“You bet we will!”, Jace exclaimed and the line went dead. Isabelle sighed, she really hoped that Alec would be up and about when they arrived. She would prefer it when Alec had the chance to tell their family and friends what was going on. And if not, maybe Magnus would scream it around the hospital when they arrived, demanding answers from Isabelle that Alec should give him.

She thought about calling their parents but decided against it. Maybe Alec just had some problems with all the stress that surrounded him or Magnus being his sometimes scary angry self had overwhelmed him. But before Simon parked at Alicante General, Isabelle did decide to call one other person: doctor Shaw.

. . .

Magnus was pacing in front of the emergency room area. “What are you doing outside?”, Isabelle asked when she arrived with Simon.

“Family only”, Magnus seethed. He looked horrible. His hair was sticking out in every direction as if he had put his hands through it repeatedly, the make-up around Magnus’ eyes was smeared and his face was devoid of all colour.

“I’ll take care of that”, Isabelle said and stepped through the door. The first nurse who saw her thankfully recognised her. “Doctor Lightwood, you’re here for your brother?”, she asked.

“Yes, can you tell me what we know so far? Oh, and there are a few more people who are going to arrive soon, please let them through.” The nurse nodded. Isabelle kicked the door open and beckoned Magnus and Simon inside.

“They are still examining him”, the nurse told them after typing on her computer for a while. “But so far he’s stable.”

Magnus wanted to say something, but Isabelle intercepted. “Okay. I’m also waiting for doctor Shaw, she’s been here a few times for the baby on 3R and has Alec’s file. Can I talk to his doctor? Alec’s been taking some prescription, but he hasn’t taken them as often as he should have. Maybe that’s the reason why he collapsed.”

The nurse continued typing, then she used her pager to inform the attending physician. “It’s doctor Underhill, he’ll be here soon”, she said. “Please wait in the waiting area.”

Isabelle thanked her, then she ushered Magnus and Simon to follow her. “Will someone fill me in now?”, Simon asked and sat down on one of the plastic chairs.

“No, we wait till Jace and I think Clary arrive. I’m not gonna tell this story twice”, Isabelle decided. Magnus didn’t argue with her. He was pacing through the room, visibly shaken. She thought about going to him, demanding to know what possibly could have happened for Alec to react that strongly, but she decided against it.

First, she wanted to hear what Andrew Underhill had to say. He was a good doctor, well-liked by both the hospital staff and the patients. Simon grabbed Isabelle’s hands and held them tight. “No matter what, Alec’s going to be okay”, he mumbled.

When he hugged her, Isabelle saw that Magnus had stopped pacing and was watching them instead. He looked sad and had a longing in his eyes that Isabelle had only seen in them when Magnus and Alec weren’t dating yet but clearly interested in each other. The way those two had sent each other long lingering glances when they thought no one was watching them. Sometimes it made Isabelle sad to think about it when she remembered that they weren’t together any longer.

“Isabelle, good to see you. Even if it could have been under better circumstances”, Andrew Underhill said when he stepped into the waiting room. “Nurse Patel told me that you have some information for me regarding your brother?”

Isabelle nodded. “Let’s talk outside”, she decided. Magnus and Simon didn’t need to hear that. Simon didn’t even know what exactly was going on yet and Magnus… Isabelle didn’t know how much Alec had managed to explain to him before he collapsed. Also, what Alec had been going through wasn’t their business. If her brother wanted to tell them, then Isabelle wanted to give him the chance to decide that on his own.

They went around a corner, away from the entrance to the waiting room. “So, long story short”, Isabelle started explaining to her colleague. “You know that baby on 3R that everyone is gushing about? He’s my brother’s and ex-fiancés kid. Alec didn’t keep him after the birth, and we learned a few days ago that he has a PNI in his uterus. Doctor Shaw, who is treating him prescribed him some drugs, but he hasn’t taken them regularly. She’s on her way here now. Alec didn’t tell Magnus about the baby until tonight and I guess it didn’t go well. So, here we are. Oh, and we need a blood sample from Magnus to heal baby Max. I hope they got that far in their talk. Maybe page nurse Catarina, she’s one of Magnus’ best friends. Hopefully, she can help us get the sample if he doesn’t want to do it.”

Andrew was looking at her like she’d just told him a difficult calculation and expected him to solve it. Then, he put himself together. “Okay, I’ll get Catarina paged. And make an ultrasound of Alec’s uterus, maybe the infection’s gotten worse. Hopefully, doctor Shaw will be here soon to fill me in on everything else. Alec’s still unconscious, he has a fewer and we nearly had to give him something to get his heart rate up. I’ll give a call to-“ Loud shouting interrupted Underhill.

Isabelle stormed back to the waiting room She could single-out Jace’s outbreaks in a heartbeat. When she got back, Isabelle was surprised that not only Clary and Jace had joined them, but Jocelyn and Luke were there as well.

“- did you do to my brother you bastard?”, Jace screamed at Magnus when Isabelle entered.

“Jace!”, she hissed, and her brother was silent for a second, only to storm to her side.

“Isabelle, what is going on here? No one wants to tell me a thing about Alec. Is he okay? When can we see him?”, he bombarded her.

Isabelle concentrated on the people in front of her. Before she could start to say anything, Catarina came into the room. “Well, that was fast”, Isabelle remarked.

“Excuse me?”, Catarina said.

“Andrew said that he would page you, but I didn’t expect you to be here that fast”, she explained.

Catarina shook her head and went over to Magnus. “Nurse network. We don’t need a pager for something like that”, she remarked. “So, someone cares to fill me in? What’s going on here?”

And then Isabelle started to explain. “Alec told me that he wanted me to fill you guys in if anything happened to him and you needed to know what was going on”, she started.

_Isabelle could still remember that day when her brother was sitting in their hut at lake Lynn, staring out a window, one hand laying on top of his ever-growing belly._

_“I mean, I don’t think or hope that something bad happens, just if you have to tell someone and I can’t do it myself, then tell mum and dad and Jace. And, Magnus, I guess.”_

_His hand had caressed his belly. “Sh, little one, everything is going to be fine”, Alec had hummed and the kicking in his belly that Isabelle could see from sitting next to him stopped._

“When Alec left a few months ago, he didn’t go to Vancouver. He actually never left the area.”

“What!? Where was he then and did you know all of that, Izzy?”, Jace asked.

“Of course, I knew. Who do you think Alec goes to when he needs help? And not for figuring out which car to buy”, Isabelle remarked, looking at her brother pointedly. “And he was staying at our hut at lake Lynn.”

Everyone started to talk at once. Everyone besides Isabelle and Magnus.

“So, that’s where you always went to”, Simon said. “Lake Lynn? We haven’t been there for ages!”, Jace exclaimed, and finally, Catarina asked the right question: “What was he doing there?”

Isabelle looked at Magnus who was already watching her. He took a step forward. His lungs expanded when he breathed in. “He was there, I assume, to wait till it was time and then he gave birth to our son.”

 

. . .

 

The words that left Magnus’ mouth didn’t make sense at first. Catarina knew that her best friend had no wish whatsoever to become a parent. She knew that Alec had been on board with that because Magnus had told her that his then-boyfriend was okay with not having kids. So, what possibly could have happened to change their minds?

Or did they even change them at all?

Catarina tried to count back the months till the date where Alec and Magnus should have married, and Alec disappeared and then when Alec had shown up again a few weeks ago. He definitely could have had a child during that time.

“Did you know?”, Catarina asked into the silence that had followed Magnus announcement. She thought that she knew the answer, but she wanted to be sure.

“No”, Magnus sighed. “He told me today. It’s… It’s Max. Our- The child. It’s Max and he’s sick _because of me_!”

Immediately Catarina knew what Magnus was talking about: Max, the baby on 3R with the slow-virus. She and some of the other nurses had talked about him. How at least one of his biological parents must be close by so that they had learned about the baby being sick, with doctor Shaw showing up, comparing the blood work of her patient with Max’s.

“You’re the other father, the one we need the blood from to make the serum for Max”, she concluded. Magnus’ face fell when she said the word _father_ , then he looked determined. “I am not a father and I never will be, and I told Alexander that much”, he said and left the room.

“How dare you”, Jace hissed and wanted to follow Magnus.

“Wait”, Catarina intercepted. “Let me do that.” She didn’t even wait for the others to say something. Jocelyn still looked shocked and Luke just shook his head at Magnus’ behaviour. Clary held Jace’s arm and whispered in his ear.

 _´Isabelle will fill them in on what she knows`,_ she thought. _´And I will get some answers from Magnus, but first, his blood.`_ Following Magnus, Catarina started walking faster. “Magnus!”, she called after him and when he didn’t stop: “Magnus Bane! Wait right there!”

Abruptly, the alpha stopped. “Come with me”, Catarina said and pushed Magnus into an empty examination room. “Sit”, she ordered. Fortunately, he sat down. “Make your arm free.”

“What for?”, Magnus hissed. Catarina was unimpressed, she knew how to handle her best friend when he had one of his moods.

“So that I can take a blood sample and we can finally start making a serum for poor little Max. He’s suffered enough already.”

“What he has can’t be cured”, Magnus grumbled, but he didn’t complain when Catarina grabbed his arm and pushed his shirt over his elbow so that she could put a needle in his arm.

“What are you talking about?”, she said while preparing the needed equipment. Instead of answering her question, Magnus started to ramble.

“You know I never wanted children. Tell me, how could Alexander do that to me? I swore at the grave of my mother that I would never have kids and he just… And he doesn’t even know what he did- Ah!” Catarina had used Magnus’ monologue to pierce his skin with a needle and take a blood sample.”

“What the hell are you doing, that hurt!”, he hissed.

“Taking a sample, like I said I would so that we can heal Max”, she explained. Magnus looked at her as if he didn’t understand a word of what she was saying.

“Whatever your problem is, Magnus, I’m not gonna let that baby die. And of course, he can be cured, he has a _virus_ , for god’s sake. A really, really rare on, but hopefully now we can treat him.”

“A _virus_. Only the virus?”, Magnus exclaimed. “But…”

“No _but_. Just, relax, slow down a little bit. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you as angry as today.” She labelled the sample and went to the door.

“I… I don’t understand”, Magnus said. All anger had left him in a heartbeat, left was only confusion. Catarina looked at him, really looked. She didn’t like what she saw.

“Your baby is going to be fine, Magnus. Congratulations, by the way, even though you never wanted kids. I just hope Alec’s going to be fine too.”

Magnus stared at her, then he looked at the blood sample in her hands. He licked his hands. “Can you… Can you test Max’s blood for hereditary diseases as well?”, he mumbled.

Catarina blinked. “Yes, of course.”

“Good”, Magnus said, more to himself than to Catarina. “Good, then do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, was it worth the wait?  
> Next chapter as always in a week ;)


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, but we have more of Magnus and baby Max!  
> Thanks for all your lovely comments, I'll answer them during the next few days ;)

Magnus felt hollow and empty in a way that he wanted to fill himself to the brink with alcohol. Maybe then he could forget what Alexander had told him. Or, even better, he could wake up tomorrow and realise that it had all been a dream. That he wasn’t a _father_. That Alexander was fine.

After Catarina had left the examination room, he had rolled down his shirt sleeve mechanically and left to stand in the hallway. Magnus wanted to know how Alexander was, but he didn’t want to go back to the waiting room to see Jace’s angry face or how Jocelyn and Luke were watching him, trying to figure out what to say to him.

So, he did what he always did in such situations: Magnus left.

He got into his car and drove home. To an empty house, but several bottles of Gin, Rum and Martini. On his way there Magnus thought about all the signs he had missed that something in his relationship with Alexander was going wrong. He remembered that Alexander had been quieter the closer the date of the wedding had gotten.

Magnus had thought that it was because he was excited. Sighing, he parked the car. At least his hands were rather steady when he opened the front door with his keys. The way to the liquor cabinet was short and Magnus decided on a double right away.

He sat down on the couch heavily. Immediately, the Chairman decided to join him. “At least you understand me”, Magnus mumbled while he pet the cat with his free hand. The alpha closed his eyes.

God, what had he done?

That child, what if…? Magnus shook his head lightly. And what he had said to Alexander. Not just today, but all those months ago. He remembered their talk after his work dinner with Crissi and Don. Alexander had been pregnant then already and had wanted to tell him what was going on.

“Forgetting, that’s what I need”, Magnus mumbled. Thought about going upstairs to his bedroom where in a wooden box a folded piece of paper with his name on was. He had read the letter so many times. Now he knew what Alexander had meant…

“Oh Chairman, what have I done?” He took another sip, then the glass was empty. Well, time for a refill!

. . .

“Magnus! Magnus, wake up!”, someone said while they shook him. He didn’t like it one bit. Magnus was more or less comfortable, only the constant banging in his head was annoying. But if he could get back to sleep, it might stop…

“Magnus!”

Okay and this person definitely had to go as well. It was silent for several beautiful seconds, then something cold and wet landed on Magnus’ face. “What the fuck?”, he screamed, scrambling to sit up. Catarina was standing in front of him, another wet washcloth in her hand.

“Are you awake now?”, she asked.

“Mh”, Magnus grumbled.

“Good, then get ready. We need to go.”

The alpha groaned. “What? But it’s… morning. Early morning. I don’t want to get up.”

Catarina ignored him and pushed him off the couch. Oh, that’s where he slept? Okay. “Yes, you will. We need your help at the hospital. It’s about Alec.”

Suddenly, Magnus felt more than awake. “What? Did something happen?”, he exclaimed.

“Yes, but first, shower. And brush your teeth, you stink. Hush!”, she said. Magnus complied and tapped to the bathroom. He rushed through his morning routine, foregoing his make-up in order to hurry. When he exited the bathroom 15 minutes later, he saw that Catarina had fed the Chairman and put away his liquor glass. She looked up when she heard him. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Will you tell me what’s going on now?”, Magnus called after her.

“On the way”, was the answer. Magnus decided to follow her. He wanted to know what was going on. As soon as both of them sat in Catarina’s car, he didn’t want to wait any longer. “So?”

Catarina sighed. “We have a diagnosis for Alec. His uterus infection flamed up again, but worse. Additionally, he has delayed PBBS.”

“What does that mean?”, Magnus asked.

She waited with her explanation until they stopped at a red light. “PBBS means Post Bond-Break Syndrome. You can get it when your bond-mate or intended bond-mate rejects you for example. Alec’s doctor, doctor Shaw said that she already suspected that Alec has PBBS, but he never made a second appointment so that she could confirm it. She thinks that he suffered from it while he was at lake Lynn, but his pregnancy kept it at bay. That’s why the effects were delayed. When you two had your fight yesterday, it broke out”, she said.

Magnus felt sick. So he hadn’t only caused Max’s sickness, but Alexander’s as well!? “And what do you need me for?”, he asked with a raspy voice. They had arrived at the hospital. “The PBBS is so strong, that the treatment for the uterus infection doesn’t work. We need you – or better said your pheromones close to Alec, to calm his omega-system down.”

They walked through the entrance and Catarina showed Magnus the way through the hospital wings. He slowed down when he saw Catarina stopping in front of a door. Magnus' throat felt raw and dry. “Magnus?”, Catarina asked. “Are you alright?”

“I… I don’t know”, he confessed. “What if I make it worse again?”

“You won’t”, she said. “Look, thanks to your blood, we could synthesise the serum for Max. He’s with Alec as well to help keep him calm. You did well, Magnus”, Catarina said.

Magnus didn’t know what to do. Behind this door were _his son_ and the love of his life. Both of them, he had disappointed greatly. “What about the test I asked you to do?”, he wanted to know.

“Still running”, Catarina said.

“Okay”, Magnus mumbled. “Let’s go.”

Catarina smiled. She opened the door and Magnus followed her inside. He could see Alexander from behind a window. “You need to wear one of these first”, Catarina explained and gave Magnus a green hospital suit. “And leave your shoes here.”

Magnus did as he was told and then he entered Alexander’s room through another door. The first thing he heard was the beeping of the machines that were connected to Alexander’s body. A low whimper caught his attention.

Next to his omega there was a little bed. Hesitantly, Magnus went over. In the bed was Max. _Their baby_. He still didn’t know how to feel about him. Magnus had sworn at his mothers grave that he would never have children and here he was. Staring at his flesh and blood. Oh, how the tides could turn…

Then he looked at Alexander and remembered their conversation from the night before. Alexander had been ready to give up Max for him. How much was Magnus willing to sacrifice for him?

He didn’t know if he was ready to answer that question. Max wailed again and Magnus went over to him again. “Sh, blueberry, what’s wrong?”, he mumbled. The boy’s eyes opened when he heard his voice. Then he smiled up at Magnus.

Magnus didn’t even fight against the smile that played around his own lips. “I have to give you that, Max. You’re really cute. I guess you’ve got that from your dad’s.” He waited till Max was asleep again, then Magnus went over to Alexander’s bed. The omega was very pale. He looked like he could break if you just touched his skin.

Slowly, Magnus brushed his hand over Alexander’s cheek. Immediately, the omega moved his head so that his nose was next to Magnus’ hand. Then he breathed in deeply. And started to purr quietly.

Magnus' heart was in his throat. “Oh, Alexander”, he mumbled. The alpha turned his head towards the window to make eye-contact with Catarina. “Can I lay down next to him?”, he asked. Catarina nodded. Carefully, Magnus moved a few of the cables and laid down next to Alexander.

The omega got a little bit restless in his sleep until Magnus moved his head so that it was next to his throat and scent glands. He relaxed immediately. And then Magnus relaxed as well. He didn’t know how long it would take for Alexander to get better, but he was ready to stay where he was for as long as he had to, the scent of his family in his nose.


	18. Chapter 17

Sometimes, Alexander opened his eyes and was awake, but only for a few seconds, then he was falling asleep again. Magnus couldn’t sleep. Not even for a second, no matter how tired he got. Maybe it was his inner alpha that refused to rest, while his omega and offspring were in a vulnerable state. A few times a doctor or nurse would enter the room to care for Max or look after Alexander. One of the nurses even showed Magnus how to hold the boy and change Max’s diapers correctly.

Not that he knew if he would ever really need that knowledge. Magnus refused to think about the future at the moment. Every time Magnus left Alexander’s bed, the omega would get restless again. Therefore, Magnus tried not to move around too much.

First, he didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it felt good – so good – to be close to Alexander again. Just to be able to feel his body heat and smell his scent again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you also have PBBS, Magnus”, Catarina said when she visited him after one of her shifts and he tried to explain his feelings to her. “You were clearly depressed when Alec left.”

Magnus thought about that for a long time. He and Alexander had been very close, nearly attached at the hip to each other. Had they been too close?

A quiet knock at the door put him out of his thoughts. A middle-aged beta woman entered the room. “Hello, I’m doctor Shaw, Alec’s doctor”, she introduced herself. Magnus cleared his throat and wanted to get up, but Alexander grabbed the next best thing that he could find in his unconscious state: Magnus’ hair.

“Ahrg”, the alpha grumbled but stayed in place. Doctor Shaw smiled at him.

“He seems to be one of those that grabs you and never want to let you go, mh?”

“It seems so”, Magnus said and had to think of all the things that Alexander had already sacrificed for him. “You must think horribly of me”, Magnus mumbled.

Doctor Shaw didn’t answer him at first. She seemed to check over Alexander’s vital signs and controlled all the cabled that were connected to his body. “I’m a doctor, not a judge”, she finally said. “It’s not my place to think bad about you, especially when I don’t know your side of the story. But, I think it says a lot about you, that you are here now and also that you gave your blood for your child.”

Magnus turned a little bit so that he could keep an eye on Max, who was sleeping in his baby bed. “Is he going to be alright?”, Magnus wanted to know.

“Yes”, doctor Shaw said. “We gave him the serum in time. One or two days later and I wouldn’t be so sure. You’re really lucky. I know that you didn’t want any children, Alec’s told me as much when he visited me the first time. Does it have anything to do with the DNS-test that nurse Loss has authorised? You don’t have to answer me if you’re not comfortable with it.”

Magnus hesitated. He had only ever told one other person about his family history and that hadn’t even been on his own free will. Camille had taken that choice from him when she had opened and read his mail without telling him. That reminded him, he still had to make sure that she would stay far, far away from him. And Alexander. And… and Max as well.

After seeing parts of that video- Magnus was angry at her, but also at himself. He should have been more open with Alexander in the first place, then maybe they wouldn’t be in the hospital right now. But, be thought, then there most possibly wouldn’t be a little addition to their lives sleeping a few steps away from him.

Some little part of his brain hoped that the test would be negative, but the rational side already knew that it wasn’t very likely. “I… There is one condition that you should look for specifically”, Magnus said slowly.

. . .

It took Alexander’s body three whole days to recover from the Post Bondbreak Syndrome and to start fighting against his uterus infection. Magnus, or better said his pheromones, weren’t needed any longer. He hadn’t heard back from Catarina or doctor Shaw yet. Magnus hadn’t told the doctor a lot, only the name of the illness and some aspects of his family history and then she had left, her face serious and had promised that she would try to speed up the process as fast as possible.

Catarina had brought him new clothes from his place when he had asked her if she would get him something to wear. There was no reason for him to stay any longer. He doubted that Alexander would be pleased to see him laying next to him after the fight that they had had. Also, he had some things to take care of. Camille, for example. She wasn’t the only person who had dirt on others and knew how to use it against them.

Isabelle and Jace had been in the room with him and Alexander a few times. Isabelle had tried to have a conversation with him, but Jace had just downright ignored him. It was at least a little bit funny to see Jace interact with Max. Especially when he had held his nephew for the first time and Max had taken that as a sign to spit all over his uncle. Jace’s face had been priceless.

Maryse and Robert Lightwood had been informed about the condition of their son by Isabelle, as she had told him. They would arrive within the next few days. Magnus feared to face Maryse. What would she say to him when they first saw each other? Maryse hadn’t understood Alexander’s rushed departure as little as Magnus had. She had told him as much and Magnus believed her.

But now, with little Max in the equation… Who knew how Maryse would react? Robert definitely wouldn’t be such a big problem. Magnus guessed that one look at his grandson and Robert would forget everything else. He had always hinted at wanting grandchildren better sooner than later.

With one last lingering look Magnus took in both Alexander and Max. The baby more because he was something that his omega cared about very much. Magnus still had mixed feelings about him. He probably would continue to have them until the test results were there.

Catarina was waiting for him when he left the hospital room. “You can change in here”, she told him and opened the door opposite of Alexander’s room for him.

“Thank you, Catarina”, Magnus mumbled. He was slow with changing clothes. Many thoughts cursed through Magnus’ head. It took him nearly ten minutes, then he finally exited the room. “I hope to hear from you soon”, Magnus said and hugged Catarina.

“I’ll come over as soon as I know more”, she said. Magnus nodded, then he went to leave the hospital.

“Magnus! Wait!”

The alpha turned around. Jace was walking towards him. Magnus hesitated. “Yes?”

His omega’s brother stopped in front of him. It took him a few seconds to get the words out that he wanted to say. “Thank you. For, you know. Helping Alec. And Max as well. You didn’t have to do that.”

Magnus smiled. “Yes, I did. I just wish that it didn’t have to come to this. Even though I’m aware that I’m the reason why most of this mess has happened”, he admitted.

Jace grumbled, more to himself than to Magnus: “Not gonna fight you on that.” Then, he looked serious again and even Magnus with his bad sense to smell others could detect the alpha pheromones in the air. “Just… So that we’re clear. Don’t hurt my brother again or you will regret it. Deeply”, he said.

“I don’t plan to”, Magnus mumbled. “And now, if you excuse me, I’ve things that I’ve got to take care of.”

Jace frowned. “Aren’t you going to wait until Alec wakes up?”

Magnus smiled. “I’m not really sure that he wants to see me right now, but please tell him that I wish him a fast recovery. And that I’ll come over to talk to him as soon as he is discharged. He’s not the only one that has to confess something.”

Jace nodded. “I’ll let him know. Bye, Magnus.”

And so Magnus left the hospital. He was walking towards the cab that Catarina had called for him and already dialled the number of one of his oldest and most trusted friends. Who also happened to work for the FBI.

“Hello Raphael, it’s me, Magnus. Remember when you offered to take care of Camille for me? I think I have to take you up on that offer now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter again, but Magnus is trying to get his shit together, trust me! 
> 
> Next update in a week.


	19. Chapter 18

Waking up to the gurgling of a baby was a new and interesting experience for Alec. He felt like he was waking up from a deep, dreamless sleep and was immediately surrounded by smells and sounds that calmed him down to the most inner core of himself. Grumbling, he blinked open his eyes. The first thing Alec saw was a baby bed next to his own bed and in it – his baby.

_Max!_

What was going on? Alec tried to remember what might have happened, but everything was still kind of blurry. But with every passing minute more things made sense. The constant beeping that Alec had kind of been aware of in the back of his mind came from a machine behind him that he was connected to.

So, he was at a hospital. Max was with him and when he inhaled deeply then Alec could smell Magnus all over the room. But the alpha wasn’t here. Slowly, Alec remembered their conversation. “Oh no”, he sighed. Of course, it had to go south _´Well`,_ Alec thought, _´at least now he knows.`_

Another gurgle caught Alec’s attention. Max was awake and stared at him. Alec gulped. “Hey little one”, he whispered, not sure if he was allowed to talk to his baby or not. Was Max even still his? He had given him away, so…

Max apparently liked to hear his father’s voice. He smiled and made grabby hands. At least Alec interpreted it as that. He looked around the room, but they were alone. There was a window to another room, but no one was there at the moment. Alec only hesitated for a second, then he slowly put away the blanket that was covering his body and stood up. His legs shook, so he had to hold on to the bed frame.

_´How long have I been out?`,_ Alec wondered. He made one careful step in front of the other until he was at Max’s side. The baby was following his movements with his eyes. They had Magnus’ eye colour. Alec was mumbling at his baby and after another look towards the window, he held him up. When Max lay comfortably at Alec’s chest, he smiled.

His nose traced Max’s head and the omega inhaled deeply. How much he had missed this smell! Still humming and mumbling, Alec walked to the chair in between their beds and sat down. _His_ baby, in _his_ arms! Maybe Alec was still lying in that hospital bed, dreaming about this moment, because it nearly seemed too good to be true.

With a quiet click, the door to their room opened and Alec’s arms automatically tightened around Max’s small body. Isabelle’s smile was the first thing Alec saw when he looked up and he instantly relaxed. His sister was no threat. Neither for him nor his baby.

“Hello, you two! How do you feel, Alec?”, she asked and slowly stepped closer.

“Like I’ve slept for two weeks straight”, Alec mumbled. Isabelle laughed.

“It wasn’t that long. Only a little bit more than four days. Your body decided that if you don’t give it the care and rest that it needs it will take it on its own.”

Alec grimaced. “I really didn’t take care of myself, eh?”

His sister shook her head. “You were really careless, Alec. Your infection was pretty bad. Without Magnus, I’m not sure if you would be up yet.”

“What do you mean without Magnus? What does he have to do with it?”, Alec wanted to know. He already knew that Magnus must have been here, his scent was everywhere, but why would he have been in Alec’s hospital room? And together with Max even!

Isabelle didn’t hesitate to answer him. “You have Post Bond-Break Syndrome, Alec. We couldn’t treat your infection until Magnus calmed down your omega side enough to stop messing up your immune system. He stayed here for three days. Only left a few hours ago actually.”

Alec had to let that information sink in. He continued stroking Max’s head while thinking. “And he just left?”

Isabelle smiled. “Jace saw him on his way out. He can tell you more”, she said.

“Oh, shit! He knows now, doesn’t he? Who else does?”, Alec asked, worried about the answer.

His sister sat down on his empty bed. “Well, after your spectacular crash I kind of had to fill in some people. Simon knows, Jace and Clary. She came to the hospital with him. And here they also met Joselyn and Luke. Catarina heard through her nurse network that you’re here, so she showed up as well”, she counted.

Alec sighed. “Oh, wait!”, Isabelle exclaimed. “I had to call mum and dad.”

“Shit! How did everyone take it?” Alec was afraid of the answer. Nearly everyone who was important to him knew now what he had done. What he had kept from them.

“Good, I would say. Jace is annoyed that you told me and not him. Mum and dad will be back asap. I think mum will take one look at Max and won’t give him back. The rest… they’ll get used to it. Were a little bit surprised and I think they want to talk to you about it, especially Jocelyn because of Max.”

Alec felt his heart beating faster in his chest. “Do you think that she’ll take him away?”, he feared.

“No, Alec”, Isabelle tried to calm him down. “I think she wants to know what _you_ want to do.” But what did Alec want? He bit his lower lip and watched Max as he fell asleep in his arms. This was what he had feared when he was still in the hut and Isabelle had asked him if he wanted to look at his baby. Or hold him.

Just having Max close to him once and Alec never wanted to let him go again. And Magnus… Well, that Alec couldn’t decide on his own, Magnus himself had to know now what he wanted or didn’t want. He looked at Isabelle again. “Can you see if Jocelyn is around? I want to talk to her.”

. . .

It was early in the afternoon two days later when Alec was released from the hospital. Jace wheeled him out in a wheelchair. And in his arms, Alec held Max. _His baby,_ now also officially. Jocelyn had been more than understanding when he had talked to her.

“I know Magnus and I know you. I would never keep a child from their parents unless it’s in their best interest. You’ll be a great father, Alec. And at least I could already get to know my grandchild!”, she had said to him.

Alec was beyond grateful for Jocelyn, that she understood his situation and supported him. “First stop, Izzy’s. You’re lucky, Alec. Simon and Clary are cooking for us and Clary got some of the baby stuff that Jocelyn had for Max”, Jace said and stopped the wheelchair next to his car. He wanted to take Max from Alec so that his brother could get out of the chair and into the car easier, but the omega growled at him.

Jace took a step back. “Okay, I got it! But I’ll want to hold my nephew eventually”, he mumbled.

Isabelle laughed next to him. “I’ll make sure to take a picture of it. I already missed the first time you held him. The nurses told me it was spectacular!”

Alec ignored his siblings and got into the car carefully. Max was sleeping again, ignorant about the world around him. Jace had told Alec what Magnus had said to him. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but maybe Magnus wanting to explain himself was a step into the right direction.

Jace brought the wheelchair back to the hospital, then they drove off. Alec wanted to start looking for an apartment tomorrow. Now that he had his baby, he wanted to have his own place as soon as possible. It was still strange to have his baby next to him, but in a good way. Alec felt better as well. His omega was calm and satisfied, his body wasn’t battling an infection any longer.

He would have to stay in bed and rest for a few more days, he had promised the doctors that much. Otherwise, they never would have let him go so soon. Having Isabelle as a sister obviously helped a lot too.

They arrived at his sister’s and Simon’s apartment and an amazing smell already greeted them in the hallway. Simon opened the door for them. “We decided on a light tofu curry with rice and a salad. And the baby formula for our latest flat member”, he announced. Alec smiled. It was good to be back with his family and friends. There were no judging looks from anyone, even though Clary looked at him thoughtfully for the first few minutes.

They enjoyed their meal even when Max decided to loudly announce that he needed a nappy change. Alec felt clumsy when he changed and cleaned his baby for one of the first times. Afterwards, he held him in his sleep, not yet ready to let go of him.

They were sitting in the living room when Isabelle announced that she wanted to throw an _after-baby shower_. “You’ll need the stuff, Alec, trust me”, she tried to convince him.

“But all those people”, Alec tried to reason with her.

“Oh, Alec! It will be fine. I’ll help you plan it, Izzy”, Clary interjected and so it was decided. Alec never stood a chance when both of them decided to team up together. No one ever really had. He grumbled a little bit, but then he decided to change his focus to Max. He looked peaceful. Alec smiled.

Of course, that was when the doorbell rang. Fortunately, the baby didn’t wake up. “I’ll go”, Isabelle said and went to get the door. “Oh, that was fast. I thought it would take you a few more days to show up”, they heard her say. When Isabelle came back, she wasn’t alone.

A rather nervous looking Magnus was walking in behind her. He looked around, then his eyes settled on Alec. And Max. “Hello”, Magnus said. “I… I guess I owe you an apology for my behaviour. And an explanation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the one you've all been waiting for, I would say...  
> I hope you liked this chapter, lots of bonding time for Alec and Max!
> 
> I always like to hear your thoughts, so hit me with your comments ;)


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I don't have time to post this chapter later today, so here it is. Let me guess, you aren't even mad that it's here already, am I right?  
> And, btw, revelation time...

Magnus was sweating all over. He could even feel his elevated heartbeat in the tips of his fingers. Everyone was looking at him. Expecting him to say something. “Do you want to sit down?”, Alexander asked him. Magnus thought about it for a second and then decided that it was, in fact, a good idea.

The others didn’t need to see how much he was shaking. “Might be a good idea”, he said and decided to sit down so that everyone could see him well. The alpha had to clear his throat because his mouth was so dry.

“I mostly want you, Alexander, to know the truth. But I also don’t want to repeat it more often than I have to, so maybe it’s good that you’re all here.” Magnus paused for a second. “The only people who know are Camille – and I didn’t tell her willingly – and Catarina. I told her a little bit yesterday.” Alexander was looking at him expectantly. Magnus tried to concentrate on him.

He… He looked good with a baby in is arms. Max was sleeping peacefully. Magnus breathed in deeply. “You know that I never wanted children, but I never told you the real reason why. My- My procreation wasn’t a _happy_ occasion. I’m the product of rape. My mother was 23 when she got violated by a criminal. They put him in prison afterwards. She was engaged at that point so when she found out that she was pregnant, my mother and stepfather hoped, that I was his child”, he explained.

At that point, Magnus had to laugh a little bit. “When I was born, they decided against a blood test, because they didn’t want to know… But when I was about seven, my mother got a letter from prison. My _creator_ was ill. He had been for years apparently. He… He had a disease that’s called _devil disease_.”

Suddenly, Isabelle was drawing in air with a whistling sound. Magnus looked up. Her eyes were wide. She knew. The others looked confused. “What does that mean?”, Simon asked.

Magnus continued. “It’s a disease that makes you go crazy. You start attacking people or even yourself. You hurt your loved ones. With words, but also physically. Your brain kind of starts cooking itself. It’s called the _devil’s disease_ because you turn into one. There have been cases where people with the disease have tortured their partners or even kids until they died. Or murdered others. Raped them. Terrorised them. It’s a disease that only alphas can get. And it’s caused by a gene mutation, so it can be passed on to your offspring.”

Alexander’s hand tightened around Max until the little boy started whimpering in protest.

“When my mother got the letter, she and my stepdad decided to test my blood. It was revealed that he wasn’t my father. And that I’m an alpha” Magnus needed a few seconds before he could continue his story. “At that time, you couldn’t test yourself yet if you had the genetic mutation of the disease. It also always skips one generation, so they knew that I could be a carrier of the disease even though it would never break out in my body.

I didn’t really understand what was happening at that point. But the day after my parents got the results, I found my mother in their bedroom. She- She had killed herself. Stabbed a knife through her heart. She had even written a letter. My own mother killed herself because she couldn’t live with the knowledge that she had given birth to the child of a monster.”

Magnus tried to blink away the tears that threatened to escape his eyelids. It was a lost battle. In his mind, he remembered it all clear as day. How he had shaken is mother’s already cold and stiff body. The knife. The blood. Even the smell of death was still stuck in his nose.

“My stepfather came in when he heard me screaming. He was so angry. First, he only yelled at me, but then he dragged me outside. He… He tried to drown me. I tried to defend myself. I must have slipped out of his hold for a second and he lost his balance. And then he slipped and fell. He never got up again. Hit his head on a stone, was dead a few minutes later. That’s how I became an orphan. My biological father died shortly after in prison. Opened his carotid artery with a piece of a broken mirror. When I was a little bit older and fully understood everything that had happened, I went back to the grave of my mother and I swore on her resting soul that I would never pass on the disease that had destroyed my whole family”, he ended.

Magnus couldn’t stop himself from looking at Max The prove of his broken promise to his mother. Alexander was white as a sheet of paper. Clary was holding Jace’s hand in a tight grip. “When… When you told me about Max, I just… Everything came back at once and I guess I overreacted. I should never have kept this from you, Alexander, but I guess I just never ever wanted to think about that part of my past again and when you told me that May was sick, I just _snapped_.”

No one said a word for a very long time. Alexander was the first one to break the silence. “And what do we do now?”, he asked with a hoarse voice. Magnus sighed.

“While Catarina took my blood sample, I asked her to also check for hereditary diseases. Your doctor, Shaw was her name, right? She said that she would speed up the process. They are testing both mine and Max’s blood. Catarina will inform you about the results. They should be ready soon. Maybe one or two more days and then we know more.”

To be honest, Magnus was still feeling horrified when he thought about the results. What if he had passed on the disease to little Max? As far as he knew there was still no treatment for the _devil’s disease_. It was also a very rare illness.

“Thank you, Magnus”, Alexander said. “For telling me, all of us. You didn’t have to. I appreciate it, I really do.” Magnus tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth wouldn’t cooperate.

“It’s the least I could do.” He was glad that it was out now, but all Magnus wanted to do now was run. To be away from all the people in this room that were his friends and looked at him at the moment in a way as if they feared that he would break into a thousand pieces like a cup of porcelain. So, he fled. “Good. I actually have to go now. See you around I guess.”

He got up and didn’t wait for anyone to say something. Magnus nearly made it to the door, before someone caught up to him. “Magnus, please wait.” It was Alexander. Of course. He stopped and turned around. The omega looked sad. Magnus never wanted to see that look on his face. And he was the one who had put it there…

“I… Is there anything I can do?”, he asked. Magnus smiled. “At the moment, no. We’ll know the results soon. Then we will know what options there are.”

He tried to avoid looking at Max who was still sleeping in the omega’s arms. He failed spectacularly. “Do you want to hold him maybe?”, Alexander asked, voice low, nearly breaking. Magnus only shook his head no. He didn’t trust his voice. It was better not to get attached. He had no right to hold this child. Magnus might have already destroyed Max’s future, he wouldn’t taint him anymore. The following silence was awkward, so Magnus decided to take the hint and leave.

“Goodbye, Alexander, see you around”, he said and closed the door behind himself.

. . .

The first thing Magnus prepared for himself when he came back home was a double shot of Whiskey. He really needed that one. For a long time, Magnus had avoided thinking about what is life could have been like if his mother hadn’t been raped by a lunatic. If he’d had a normal upbringing. What would his life have been like?

Before he could think too much a life that never was, he got interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Sighing, Magnus put the glass down and went to open the door. Catarina was standing in front of him. “Hey”, she greeted him. “Mind if I come in? I’ve got the test results.”

Magnus swallowed. His mouth felt dry. “Sure. Have you looked at them yet?”

“I did”, Catarina said. They went to the living room and sat down on the couch next to each other. Magnus’ heart was beating in his throat. This was it. Now he would know how much he had fucked up Max’s life.

At first, Magnus didn’t fully register Catarina’s smile. “The results are negative. Both Max’s and your blood is fine.”

“What does that mean?”, Magnus asked breathlessly. He was confused.

Catarina watched her friend closely. “When was the last time you did any research about the _devil’s disease_?”, she wanted to know.

Magnus didn’t even have to think about the answer. “Never. I never waned to hear about it. Always turned off the TV when they reported about it.” Catarina shook her head.

“That explains a lot. Magnus, about four years ago, a few scientists from Sweden discovered that there are two variations of the disease. A mild form that always jumps over one generation and the extreme form that your father must have had. That one gets passed down dominantly, which means that every child of theirs that gets the gene that carries the disease has an active outbreak and is not just a carrier.”

Catarina looked at Magnus, observed his face. “Your bloodwork is fine. You didn’t inherit the defective gene from your father, Magnus.” It took Magnus several long seconds to figure out what his friend was telling him.

“That means I’m not a carrier of the disease?”

Catarina smiled. “No, you’re not. And Magnus.” She grabbed both his hands and pressed them for a second. “That means that you also can’t pass it on. No child of yours can get the defective gene, you understand that? You are fine.”

No, Magnus didn’t understand. Catarina’s words didn’t make sense. “But that would mean that I can have children”, he mumbled after a while. He thought back to Alexander, standing in the hallway with Max in his arms. Their child.

Magnus didn’t even realise that he was crying tears of relief. Max would be fine. He wasn’t cursed and… Magnus himself wasn’t either. For the first time in his life he allowed himself to think about it: did he want to have children? A _family_ of his own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, what do you think?  
> Oh and one question. This story has only a few more chapters + epilogue. I have a few (haha, a feeew) more ideas for some Malec stories. Do you guys want another one after this one is finished?


	21. Chapter 20

It took Alec less than two weeks to find a new apartment for himself and Max and then moving into it. Compared to the house that he and Magnus had shared it was small, but Alec liked the cosy atmosphere. Also, it was only five minutes away from Izzy’s and Simon’s place.

His family and friends visited often, especially Alec’s mother. She was besotted with little Max. Alec was glad that everything seemed to go back to normal after such a stressful time. He had gotten a phone call from Catarina the morning after Magnus’ revelation. Alec hadn’t seen the alpha since then.

He had thought about calling him but eventually decided against it. The ball was in Magnus’ hands now. He had to decide whether he wanted to take a step towards Alec and Max or not. At least they were now all healthy and Alec was beyond grateful for that. After Magnus’ explanation, he had done some research about the _devil’s disease_ – and he had been terrified by what he had found. No wonder that Magnus hadn’t wanted to pass on that illness.

Still, he could have said something to Alec, but that was in the past. Now, Alec only wanted to think about the present and the future for once. And that included figuring out what kind of diapers to buy. He was in the supermarket – Max strapped to his chest and tried to decide which brand would be the best. And what was the difference between _extra soft_ and _super soft_!?

The struggle of a new parent… At least Max was the dream of a baby. He screamed, but not too often, during the nights he was mostly sleeping and whenever someone came over to visit them, he kept grinning at them. Alec was definitely spoiled.

It was when he put the groceries into the car that he saw Magnus. And the alpha saw him. For a second, Alec didn’t know what to do. How are you supposed to react when you see your ex that you have a baby with, but he doesn’t want to know anything about it? The decision was taken from him when Magnus decided to come over.

He walked slowly as if to give Alec enough time to turn around and drive away, pretend that he hadn’t seen Magnus. Alec stayed where he was, Max in his arms and ready to be strapped into the baby seat. “Hello”, Magnus said when he stopped next to them. Alec couldn’t help himself but notice that he looked different and sounded… nearly shy.

“Hey”, Alec answered and adjusted his hold on Max. The little boy had started gurgling as soon as he had heard Magnus’ voice. _´Like father, like son`,_ Alec thought, because his heart was beating wildly as well. Magnus still had the same effect on Alec and who was he kidding – he was still deeply in love with the alpha.

Said alpha was currently biting his lower lip and apparently couldn’t decide where to keep his eyes: on Alec or on Max. “How… How are you two? Everything alright?”, he mumbled.

Alec shifted Max so that Magnus could see him better. “Yes, we’re good. Max is doing great. We’ve been to the doctor yesterday and his body is clear of this nasty virus. Thanks again for your help”, the omega said.

Magnus nodded and continued looking at Max. He seemed conflicted. “Well then”, he suddenly announced. “I have to get going, see you around!” And then he went away with big steps. Alec shook his head for a second, then he buckled Max into his seat. It still took him a while to sort every belt and put them all in the right place.

“Now, that’s done”, he mumbled, touched Max’s cheek with his little finger and turned around. Magnus was walking back towards him, looking determined.

“Do you want to go and grab coffee? No now, if you don’t have the time, but… soon?”, he asked.

Alec blinked. “As a-?”, he wanted to know.

“A meeting between friends. I- I don’t think that we are ready for anything more at the moment”, Magnus said, voice strong. “I know that I’ve made a lot of mistakes, not only lately, in general. But I’ve thought a lot the last few days. About my past, you, Max. What changes for me now that I know that what my father had- That it won’t affect me or my loved ones, ever.”

He stopped and took a deep breath, looked straight into Alec’s eyes. “And I’ve come to realise that I want you – the both of you – in my life. Permanently. And if you’re willing to give me a second chance, then I’ll gladly take it.”

“I-“, Alec began but didn’t know how to continue. “I think we have a lot to talk about before we can go anywhere near where we’ve been before I left, before Max even. But I’ll go and have coffee with you. Just, as two friends first, okay? How about tomorrow?”

Magnus smiled as if Alec had lit the sun for him. “Perfect.”

. . .

They had decided to meet at 3 pm in a new café that had just opened at the main square. Alec brought Max with him, because he still avoided being separated from him for more than half an hour max and also because he wanted Magnus to know from the beginning that they might be able to be friends again – at the moment Alec didn’t even want to get his hopes up and pray or wish for more – but Alec and Max were now a package deal. You couldn’t get one without the other.

Surprisingly, Magnus was already in the café when Alec arrived with Max. Normally, the alpha always showed up _fashionably late_ , as he liked to call it. He smiled when he saw Alec approaching and stood up to greet him. “Hello Alexander, thank you for coming”, he said and kissed Alec on the right cheek.

Alec blushed; he could feel the blood heating where Magnus’ lips had brushed his skin. “And hello to you too, Max”, Magnus mumbled and peaked into the baby stroller. He was playing with the rings on his fingers, a clear sign for Alec that he was nervous.

Max didn’t seem to notice though. The baby kept making bubbles with his spit, something he had discovered how to do a few days ago. It was one of the only things Max could do besides eating, sleeping and shitting. After all, he was still very young.

Magnus blinked a few times, then he pushed Alec’s stool back for him to take a seat and sat down opposite of the omega. “I… I haven’t ordered yet”, the alpha said and smiled. “I’ve heard that the cakes here are amazing though.”

Alec tried to relax into his seat, but it was difficult. All of this… How Magnus behaved, the way they interacted with each other and couldn’t even hold eye contact for longer than a heartbeat before one of them would look away – it felt wrong. He didn’t know what to do about it. Fortunately, the awkward silence that had fallen on their table was broken when their waitress arrived to take their order. She was a young girl, probably still at college.

Magnus motioned for Alec to order first. “Uhm, I’ll have a black coffee please and a piece of the pecan pie. Thanks”, he said and waited for Magnus to tell the waitress what he wanted.

“A green tea and a piece of the strawberry cake please”, Magnus ordered.

Alec’s brows shot up. He waited till the girl left, then he couldn’t hold it back any longer. “Since when do you drink tea instead of coffee?”, he wanted to know.

Now it was Magnus’ turn to blush. “I’ve come to realise that I need to change a few things in my life. One of them is my coffee consumption. Did you know that too much coffee is very bad for your health?” Alec shook his head. “Yeah, me neither”, Magnus said.

“What else have you decided to change?”, Alec asked to keep the conversation going and also because it interested him.

Magnus looked up from playing with his rings and finally kept his hands form one another, keeping his focus on Alec. The corner of his mouth twitched. “I’ve decided to hire a new event manager so I can lower my own workload. I want to concentrate on myself a little bit more. The last few months have been – intense and I need more time for myself. Also, we make enough money that we can afford someone new. I’m done with working a 60 hours week!”

Alec nodded. When they were still together Magnus often worked way longer than Alec and everyone else did. He only realised now after putting some space between that time how much pressure work had put on their relationship. “That sounds good. I’m happy for you, Magnus”, Alec said, and he meant it.

Magnus smiled. “Thank you, Alexander.” The waitress came and brought their order. After she left Magnus took a slow sip from his cup of tea. His eyes kept flying to Max who was sleeping again. Alec waited for him to say what was on his mind. The alpha breathed in heavily and sighed. He looked at Alec again, seeming to be nervous again.

“I… I’ve also decided that I need to go and see a therapist”, he nearly whispered, but then spoke clearer. “I know that I’ve made a lot of mistakes, not only recently, but also in the past. A lot of them have to do with what happened to me as a child, but also – after. And I don’t want to keep all this stuff bottled up because it nearly cost me the most important thing in my life.”

Magnus’ eyes were tearing up and Alec didn’t think, he just grabbed Magnus’ right hand and pressed it tightly. His own head was spinning. Magnus, the Magnus he had known for so long now who was always happy and bubbly and so strong, wanted to see a therapist. He knew how difficult it must have been for him to decide on that. To realise that he needed help. And to really take that step and get it.

“Magnus”, Alec said, voice breaking, “I’m so, so proud of you.” Magnus tried to smile, but it was a little bit wobbly and tears were still spilling from his eyes.

“Gosh, my make-up! I’m really ruining everything”, he mumbled and took a napkin with his free hand and dabbed at his eyes, the other hand still held still tight in Alec’s.

“It’s okay, you look great as always”, Alec tried to reassure him. This was so not how he had expected this afternoon to be like.

“And I just wanted to talk to you today. About - everything”, Magnus said. “And now I’m crying around.”

Alec bit on his lower lip. “And what includes _everything_?”, he wanted to know. Magnus swallowed. Alec saw how he tried to put himself together.

“Everything. How I messed up our relationship. I made you lose your trust in me, made you run away and hide. I’m so sorry for how I treated you and, and Max as well! I should have talked to you about my parents and about so much more. I really am a horrible person.”

“No, Magnus! No, you’re not a horrible person”, Alec tried to soothe him. “You’re human and humans are not perfect, we all make mistakes and what happened to us – you always need two people to tango. And I fucked up at least as much as you did. _I_ decided to hide the fact that I was pregnant from you. _I_ ran away and came back and acted like nothing really happened. _I_ decided not to tell you about Max and that he was ill until it was nearly too late!”, he started.

Alec sighed and brushed his thumb over the back of Magnus’ hand. “And I never ever should have left the day before our wedding the way I did. That letter… I was a coward. I should have talked to you in person, then maybe all of this never would have happened. I’m sorry that I hurt you so much.”

It felt good to get all his thoughts out of his head. Many of the things Alec had just said had been on mind for a long time and he was glad that they were finally out in the open now.

Magnus pressed his lips into a thin line. “We’re such a mess”, he confessed after a few moments. “Do you think that we’ll be able to find common ground again?”, he asked.

Alec thought about that for a while. How could that common ground look like? “I honestly don’t know. After everything that has happened… I mean we can’t just go back a few months and pretend that nothing happened.”

He looked at Max. “I, I still don’t know how you feel about Max now, do you want him to be in your life and if so, as what? His father – are you ready for that? – or a, a _family friend_? I don’t know what to do or what to feel at the moment, Magnus”, he confessed.

The alpha nodded and his eyes shifted back to Max. “I understand”, he said. “And to be honest, I also don’t think that we can just forget everything that has happened. I want to be in your life and I also want to be in Max’s – in _our son’s_ life – if you let me. Maybe you’re right and it’s a good idea to try and be friends again first.”

He emptied his cup of tea, now nothing more than a cold, dirty brownish liquid.

“Okay”, Alec mumbled. “Then let’s try to be friends again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry with the delay, this chapter wasn't so easy for me to write. Also, lots of work atm...


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the notes at the end of the chapter after reading!

Magnus was afraid. His hands were shaking, mouth dry. Every time the door of the room he was in opened; he thought his heart would jump out of his chest. He was constantly debating with himself whether or not it was a good idea that he was here. Before he could jump out of the chair he was sitting in, the door opened again. In walked a middle-aged woman with brown-greyish hair. Magnus swallowed. His mouth still felt like the Sahara.

The woman closed the door behind herself and walked towards him. “Hello Mr Bane, my name is doctor Miller. How’re you?”, she said voice calm and even.

“Hello”, Magnus replied, glad that he didn’t stammer. “I’m- fine, I guess. A little bit nervous though.” He chuckled a bit, trying to relieve the pressure he felt in his lungs.

Doctor Miller smiled and sat in an armchair opposite of his own. “That’s normal, so don’t worry”, she assured him. Magnus tried to return her smile. Doctor Miller was his new therapist. Today was their first meeting – not a session yet, as doctor Miller had told him. “I always meet with possible patients first and talk to them. So, we can get to know each other, see if we can work together. I also want to know if I’m the right person to help you”, she had told him on the phone when he had first called her office.

Magnus had been looking into finding a therapist for a few days. He wanted to take the time to find someone that could really help him and not just the first psychologist that he came across. Doctor Miller’s office was in a city 45 minutes away from Alicante, but she seemed to be the best option for Magnus. She had specialised in patients with traumatic childhood experiences.

“I hope you’ve found the way well. You’re from Alicante, right?”, she asked, starting a round of small talk to lighten the mood and make Magnus relax a little bit more.

“Yes, it was easy to find”, he answered. “Alicante is the city I live in, but I didn’t grow up there.” He kept looking around, not being able to focus his eyes on one spot.

“I think we haven’t talked about where you’re from on the phone, right?”, the doctor wanted to know.

The alpha sighed. “No, we haven’t. Originally, I’m from Indonesia, but after everything that happened with my parents… I was handed around a lot, but then I ended up here in the States.”

Doctor Miller nodded. “You told me what happened with your family and if we decide to work with each other we will spend quite some time on that. Not just the death of your parents, but also what happened before and after. How it still influences you even now, years later. Before we talk about what the therapy sessions would be like I want to know what your motivation is for being here today.”

It was difficult for Magnus to keep his emotions in check. Everything seemed to bubble underneath his skin. Alexander, he missed Alexander and even their little blueberry. A thing he never thought to be possible just a few days ago. He had done so much wrong…

“I- I learned that I have a child a few weeks ago and everything just came back. I never wanted kids, never wanted to become like my biological father or be the reason an innocent child gets tainted with such a burden. And I nearly lost everything that matters to me because of it. Of how I behaved. I pushed my, my fiancé away- I hurt him _so_ much and – Max, out little boy…” Magnus swallowed.

He was such an idiot, such a bad person. “I don’t deserve them”, he mumbled.

“No such thing”, doctor Miller said. And then she sat him down for a talk about how shaping everything is that we experience as a child. “You’re making the first step into the right direction with seeking for help”, she concluded. Magnus looked at the watch at one of the walls in the doctor’s office. They’d been talking for nearly an hour already.

Doctor Miller followed his eyes and chuckled. “How fast time flies by. Normally, my fist meeting with a new patient only lasts for twenty minutes.” She looked at him expectantly. “So, Mr Bane. Thank you for your honesty. I think I have a good impression of what we can work on. Only if you want to work with me of course.”

Magnus thought about it for a few seconds. He liked the doctor, she really seemed to listen to what he said and if he had questions she answered them honestly and in a way that he could understand what she said. He breathed in deeply. “I would like to work with you, yes. I really need the help, I know that now.”

. . .

Magnus felt like he was stuck under water until he drove through Alicante again. So, he had a therapist now. His first official session was in three days. His hands cramped around the steering wheel. There was only one thing he wanted to do now, one person he _needed_ to talk to and he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to call him. “Bullshit”, Magnus mumbled to himself and used the build-in telephone of his car to all Alexander. He hoped that he didn’t wake up Max should he be asleep.

Alexander picked up after the eighth ring. “Hello”, he said, sounding out of breath.

“Alexander? It’s me”, Magnus answered, voice strained. It was silent on the other end of the line, then: “Magnus, what’s wrong?” And how could Alexander still figure out that something wasn’t okay with Magnus only by hearing three words?

That was enough to cut the strings holding Magnus together. His breath got uneven and his eyes started to water. “Magnus!”, Alexander said, louder this time.

Magnus tried to keep himself together. “Can I… Can I come over? Only for a few minutes? Please.”

“Of course”, the omega said. Neither of the ended the call, they just continued to listen to the other one breathe. Alexander only reminded Magnus of his new address, then he was silent again. When Magnus arrived, he stayed in the car for a few seconds, closing his eyes. He made his way to the front door slowly.

Alexander was already standing in the doorframe and waited for him. Wordless, he let Magnus inside, his brow furrowed. Only after the door was closed and they stood in the hallway next to each other, staring a little bit awkward into the other one’s face did Magnus break the silence.

“Can- Can I hug you, please?”, he whispered. Alexander nodded slightly and put his arms around Magnus. The alpha pressed his nose into the other one’s neck and inhaled deeply. He needed to reassure himself that Alexander was okay. Alexander’s hands rubbed his back in small circles. They stood like that for several minutes until they heard a wail.

Hesitantly, Magnus took a small step back. Alexander smiled at him and took Magnus’ hand. “Come, he’ll want to see you”, he said and walked into the living room.

Magnus and Alexander had exchanged several text messages since the day that they had coffee. Mostly it was banal things, but every time Magnus saw that he had a new message from the omega his heart fluttered wildly.

Max was lying on a couch and moved his hands and feet in the air. Alexander let go of Magnus’ hand to pick up their baby. “Sit down”, he mumbled. “I’ll be right back, it’s time for his nap.”

Magnus leaned back on the couch and took the room in. It was very… _Alec_. And a little bit of Izzy shone through as well. Minimalistic, nearly bare in some places, but then there were pictures of Alexander’s family and some design furniture, that Magnus knew must have been put there by his sister.

Alexander came back several minutes later and sat next to Magnus. He looked… good, a little bit tired maybe. “Are you alright?”, Magnus asked.

The omega smiled. “Yes, but what about you? Did something happen?”

Magnus started to play with the rings on his fingers. “I- I had my first talk with my therapist today and. It brought back some old memories. I hope I don’t keep you from doing something. I just needed to talk to you, because you are _you_ and. Oh my, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to impose on you, I’ll go-“

“Magnus”, Alexander interrupted him. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to go, it’s okay. You can stay here. We can… talk, okay?

He tried to calm down. Alexander hesitated for a second, then he grabbed Magnus’ hand again. “It’s okay”, he said. “Do you want to talk about your meeting?”

The alpha nodded. “Yeah, yeah I would like that.”

. . .

In the end, Magnus stayed over for longer than he had originally planned. It was Max that remembered them of his existence and the time. “Come”, Alexander only said and stood up to get Max from his nap.

Magnus followed him. Their baby looked at him with big eyes and started to squeal in delight. “Do you want to hold him?”, Alexander asked and bit his lower lip.

“Are you sure?”, Magnus wanted to know.

The omega nodded. “Yes. I- I trust you, Magnus”, he said. Magnus swallowed his reply, but he took Max from Alexander’s arms, holding him carefully. He looked at Max whose eyes were still heavy from his nap.

Alexander smiled at them when Magnus looked up from admiring their baby. It felt easier to touch Max now. A thought came into Magnus’ mind. He cleared his throat. “So, in two weeks, there is this spring market net to the city hall. Do you two maybe want to go there with me?”, he asked.

Alexander blinked a few times. Magnus wanted to slap himself for always pushing too much, but Alexander answered him. “Yes, I think we would like that.”

A big smile split Magnus’ face and after a heartbeat, Alexander started smiling as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, thanks for reading again first.  
> I know, this chapter is late again which has two reasons: 1. I was too lazy to write and 2. I sorted through all my Malec story ideas which took ages (there are 20 +/-1 ideas in my head and they are battling over will be written first, it's very annoying)  
> At least I have everything in order now and will concentrate on finishing this story before I start with the next one (whichever of the 20 it will be...)  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, roughly one more plus the epilogue and then Unforgivable is finished!  
> Till next week ;)


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to 27kirune12: first, you nearly crashed my phone when I turned on the wifi on Monday morning and my phone nearly vibrated itself to death and then you made me laugh with your comments, one. for. every. chapter. In a row. Wow!
> 
> Also, as you guys might have already seen, there is a final chapter count. So, today's chapter is THE LAST ONE. Next week, there will be an epilogue (and very likely a new story will begin, fingers crossed).

Alec was surprisingly calm the closer the date of the spring market got. Something had changed between Magnus and him again. It was as if their dancing around each other had stopped the day that Magnus had come over after his first meeting with his therapist. Magnus wrote him little messages every day and Alec replied to nearly every single one of them. It felt right to be in contact again, to tell each other what happened in their lives.

He sighed. Max looked up at him expectantly. They were getting ready to go out with Magnus. The day of the spring market was finally here. Magnus would stand in front of their door any minute now. Alec had everything ready: the baby stroller stood next to the front door and he had a bag with all necessary baby equipment in it as well as a bottle of water for himself.

Alec looked forward to seeing Magnus again. Besides texting they had been talking on the phone to each other once or twice. The alpha had told him about his first real therapy session and Alec himself had called him to tell Magnus about his new job. Alec hadn’t really been looking into getting a new job already, but an old colleague had contacted him and the offer was too good to refuse. He could even take Max with him and bring him to the company’s daycare and kindergarten.

Magnus had been as excited as Alec, which had surprised him at first because Alec had thought that Magnus would want him back at his own firm. “You need to do what you think is right for you, Alexander”, he had said. “I support you, no matter what.”

It was nearly unbelievable what a few honest conversations could fix.

A knock on the front door made Alec jump a little. Then he straightened up and went to open the door for Magnus. “Hello”, the alpha said in greeting. Although talking to each other on the phone was fine now, they were still careful in dealing with each other face to face.

“Come in for a sec, we’re nearly ready”, Alec told him and grabbed Max from the baby blanket on the floor. Magnus hesitated for a heartbeat to step closer, then he stood next to Alec and smiled shyly. “Hello, blueberry!”

Max squealed in delight. “Hold him till I have my shoes on?”, Alec asked. He was curious about how the alpha would react. The last time Alec had offered him to hold Max, Magnus had looked like he was about to faint. But now, Alec _wanted_ to push Magnus out of his comfort zone.

He had had a long talk with his mother about Magnus’ and his relationship. “If you want to be with him again, you have to be 100 per cent sure that you can trust him, no matter what”, Maryse had said. Alec still wanted to take things slow, one step at a time. But he also knew that he couldn’t keep Magnus out of his life completely.

He didn’t want that. Instead, they both tried to build a new foundation for whatever the future had planned for them. Maybe they never would be in a romantic relationship again, but Alec wanted Magnus to be in his and Max’s life. Their baby deserved to know both of his parents. He knew that now.

Magnus was very gentle when he picked Max up. Their baby’s little hands grabbed after Magnus’ necklaces. He was still very uncoordinated so most of the time he just touched the alpha’s skin. Magnus’ smile grew wider. Relieved, Alec walked back to the hallway to slip into his shoes, one ear always attuned to Magnus and Max.

“Ready”, Alec said and took their baby from Magnus and put him in the stroller. “Let’s go”, he mumbled.

. . .

They walked to the city hall. It was a nice ten minutes’ walk. Magnus told Alec about the latest decisions he had made for Alicante’s summer festival and Alec told some new stories of Max.

The spring market wasn’t _that_ big, but a lot of people had decided to walk over the area anyway. Magnus and Alec decided to first go and see everything and then get what they wanted afterwards. Max was looking up at them and listened to all the noises intently. Alec smiled. It felt… nearly as if they were a real family.

“Alexander, can I ask you something?”, Magnus wanted to know while they were sitting next to one of the food stalls and enjoyed some baked potatoes with mango chutney.

“Sure”, Alec said. Magnus bit his lip and looked away.

“During my last therapy session, we talked about you going away. I mean, I know you went to your family’s hut at lake Lynn, but I have no idea what it was like for you. Did you- Did you talk to anyone besides Izzy? How did you spend your days? What was the birth like?”

For a second, Alec didn’t know how to answer those questions. He swallowed the piece of potato that he had in his mouth. “Uhm”, he mumbled and checked on Max. He had fallen asleep after a while and was still out like a light. Only after he had reassured himself that Max was alright did Alec look up and focus on Magnus.

“It was… hard. Leaving like that and going to lake Lynn was kind of the only thing that I came up with. I threw everything and one or two books in some bags and then Izzy was already at the house to come and pick me up. She didn’t like the plan, but she’s my sister, so she decided to help me the best way she could. Being at lake Lynn was- Lonely. I didn’t have much to do. Izzy brought me food and new books. I took long walks around the lake and through the forest. When… When it was nearly time for the birth, I didn’t leave the hut often. I felt saver inside.”

Alec remembered those days clearly even though they felt aeons away now. Magnus nodded in understanding. “And- the birth?”, he asked hesitantly.

Alec breathed out. “What can I say? It hurt like hell. Kind of feels like you’re getting ripped apart. Izzy did her best, even took an evening class in child delivery, so I guess it could have been worse. I was in labour for about… 17 hours, I think. And then there he was. Screaming like all hell was after him”, he smiled ruefully. “I didn’t even look at him, was too scared that I wouldn’t be able to give him away afterwards.”

“You… you didn’t even hold him? Not once?”, Magnus asked with a raspy voice.

The omega shook his head. “The- The first time I saw him was the day that I got back to the office when Jocelyn walked in with Max in her arms.”

“Alexander-“, Magnus started, but Alec interrupted him.

“No, it’s okay. What’s in the past is in the past and we can’t change that. So, don’t dwell on it, okay?” Magnus nodded. “Okay.”

They finished their potatoes and walked over the market one last time. “Oh, I forgot something”, Magnus suddenly said. “Wait for me at the end of the market, next to the fountain”, he said over his shoulder, already walking away. Slowly, Alec continued his stroll.

Max woke up after a few minutes and demanded something to eat. Fortunately, Alec had prepared a bottle before they had left the house and put it in a thermos to keep it warm. Alec picked up the pace and stopped at the fountain. “In a minute, in a minute”, he mumbled to Max and sorted through the baby bag to get to the bottle of baby formula.

“Finally”, he sighed and shook the bottle a few times. After testing the temperature and getting Max out of the stroller, he sat down on the corner of the fountain. Max drank greedily and finished the bottle quickly. They sat there for several minutes before Magnus came back.

“Sorry, took me longer then I thought”, he said and smiled. “Shall we go?”

. . .

“So, do you have any plans for the time after the Alicante festival, going on holidays?”, Alec wanted to know after he opened the door.

“No, not really. I don’t want to go somewhere alone and I’m definitely too old to join Jocelyn and Luke on their traditional camping trip”, Magnus said. He helped Alec to get Max out of the stroller.

“I mean, if you want, then we could go to lake Lynn and I could show you everything. The hut, maybe my favourite place in the forest? Jace, Izzy and I used to play hide and seek there when we were younger.”

The alpha blinked his eyes a few times. “I… I would like that very much”, he confessed. They smiled at each other. “Oh!”, Magnus exclaimed. “I’ve got something for you!” He searched through the pockets of his jacket. “Here.”

Alec took the little piece of… cloth that Magnus gave him.

“It’s an omamori-charm from Japan. I saw it at one of the stalls and thought of you two. There are different kinds of omamori. This one is meant for protection”, the alpha explained in a rush, cheeks red.

“Thank you, Magnus”, Alec said He put the charm on the kitchen table. Magnus played with the rings on his fingers again. “Hey”, Alec murmured. Magnus looked up. The omega smiled. And took a step closer. Engulfed Magnus in a hug. Put his nose close to the alpha’s scent glands.

Relaxed.

Home.

This was his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, pls leave a comment and kudo, I really appreciate it ;)


	24. Epilogue

. . . _three years later_ . . .

Alec was stupid, so fucking stupid! “Where are they, Jace? _Where. Are. They!_ ”, he screamed at his brother. Jace was beet-red in the face, struggling to get an actual sentence out of his mouth “Uhm, you know. I think I gave them to Clary. But… She says I didn’t, so maybe she’s right? On the other hand, if she’s right, then my mind’s been playing tricks with me because I could _swear_ I gave them to her.”

Jace at least looked sorry. Alec, well Alec felt pretty devastated. _“Where are the **fucking** rings, Jace?_”, he spit out. He was starting to sweat, oh no, he couldn’t sweat now! Then he would look like a foaming, grumpy goblin-like Simon sometimes said.

Out of all days, he couldn’t look like such a creature today. Although, Alec had no idea what an actual goblin looked like, but the name was suggestion enough, wasn’t it? Before he could really lose his cool and dig into Jace like a furious dragon, the tarp of the tent moved inwards, and a little figure ran in.

“Daddy, daddy, we can hear you scolding at uncle Jace _all_ the way till the big tent”, Max explained and emphasised the distance to the other tent with his arms. Alec wanted to pick him up, but his brother _tsked_ with his tongue and swept his nephew up before Alec could intervene.

“What’s the emergency here? Hormones and emotions cooking over already?”, Izzy asked. She had followed Max into the tent after hearing her brothers screaming match.

“Jace has misplaced the rings”, Alec accused. The alpha lowered his eyes sheepishly.

Izzy sighed. “That’s all?”, she wanted to know.

“All!?”, Alec nearly spat again but tried to stay calm. ‘ _No goblin, no goblin’,_ he repeated over and over in his head.

“Yes, because as it happens, they are in my possession. I found them in Jace’s and Clary’s fridge before we left this morning. Everyone was already out of the door, so I took them.”

Jace sighed relieved. “Thank the angel for you, Izzy”, Jace said and hugged his sister, Max still in his arms.

“Excuse me!?”, Alec interrupted. “But what were _Magnus’ and my wedding rings_ doing in your fridge, Jace?” His brother stepped behind Izzy as if to use her as a shield. Oh, that was never a good sign.

“I must have put them there when I was looking for a corndog yesterday. Or the day before that? I can’t really remember”, he admitted sheepishly.

Alec wanted to hit Jace with something. Preferably something hard. “And you wonder why I rely more on Izzy than you”, Alec grumbled.

“Hey!”, Jace exclaimed, but with no heat behind it. “You still chose me to be your best man, didn’t you?”

“And sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder if that decision won’t bite me in the ass”, Alec grumbled. And really, putting the rings into the fridge – he honestly wasn’t even surprised. That was typical Jace-behaviour at its best.

“Daddy, stay nice. Today is your and Papa’s big day”, Max argued. And he was right. Today was their big day. Alec’s breath was shaky when he reminded himself that in less than an hour, he would be Magnus’ husband. And Magnus would be his.

“Yes, Max, it is. Now go with uncle Jace and look after the rings. Your uncle apparently can’t be trusted with them”, he said to his son. Max tried to jump out of Jace’s arms.

“Yes, yes! Let’s go, uncle Jace”, he screamed. Sighing, Jace let him down and followed Max out of the tent.

Izzy chuckled. “Well, now that that’s taken care of, how do you feel?”, she wanted to know.

Alec smiled. “Good. Excited – and a bit nervous, but I’m ready.”

“Perfect. Then let me do the last grooming and then you’re ready to go.” It took Izzy another 20 minutes to deem Alec _ready to get married off_ , as she liked to tell him. His hands were sweating again by the time that Robert stepped into the tent.

“We’re ready, how about you?”, he asked and smiled encouragingly at his son.

“Done”, Izzy proclaimed and took a step back to admire her work. “Magnus won’t know what hit him.” Alec blushed. Then he stood next to his father.

“Let’s go.”

. . .

They had decided to marry at the beach of lake Lynn. First, Alec hadn’t been sure whether the lake really was the right location for their wedding, after all a lot had happened here, but Magnus convinced him that it was perfect.

After the whole debacle of Alec coming back and Max being sick, it had taken them nearly a year to get back together. Both hadn’t wanted to overstep at first. In the end, it had taken them till Magnus’ birthday in December to at least act on their feelings. After that, they had decided to take it slow, one step at a time.

Alec had even accompanied Magnus to a few of his sessions with his psychologist so that they could work out a lot of the things that still stood between them. Magnus and Max got inseparable quickly. Alec still had to smile to himself when he remembered the first time he had walked in on Max sleeping on a passed-out Magnus. Their boy must have been half a year old at the time.

Yes, life was good for Alec. Moving back in with Magnus several months after they had gotten back together had felt right and asking him one night while they were watching TV, Max already in bed, if he wanted to marry him – without backing out this time – got Alec’s heart beating faster.

And now it was time. Time to become Alec, Magnus and Max Lightwood-Bane.

. . .

They had decided to edit the traditional walk through the aisle a little bit. While Robert and Alec came from the left side behind the guests, Luke and Magnus walked towards them from the right. They met in the middle and Magnus and Alec walked towards the priest together.

Magnus looked… Absolutely stunning. A black tux with an ivory coloured dress shirt and dark shoes. Alec really was lucky that he had such a handsome and intelligent groom. “You look amazing”, Magnus whispered while they walked together, hands clasped tightly.

Alec blushed deeply. “Thank you, but have you looked into a mirror lately?” Magnus bit his lip, trying not to grin. Together, they walked up the aisle and stopped in front of the priest. Alec could hear his mother crying. He smiled.

Next to him stood Jace as his best man, Magnus’ friend Ragnor stood next to the alpha. The priest began his speech about love and how sometimes, we lose each other only to find our other half again. They exchanged their vows, both crying by the time they were done.

Then it was Max’s big entry. Very careful he stepped towards his parents, a pillow with two golden rings on top of it. “Aku cinta kamu”, Magnus said when he put the ring on Alec’s finger.

“I love you too”, Alec mumbled and put the other ring on Magnus’ finger. They looked at the priest expectantly. He smiled at them and nodded. “I hereby proclaim you husband and husband. You may now kiss each other.”

Magnus grinned, took Alec’s left hand with his right one and lifted it to his mouth. Slowly, he kissed the ring. Alec laughed, then he pulled Magnus towards him and kissed him on the lips. Jace started to whoop, but they ignored everything else around them.

. . .

Later, much later when it was already dark outside, Alec and Magnus sat at their seats at the table, drunk on the moment. Magnus’ good friend Raphael approached them. “Congratulations”, he said.

Magnus smiled. “Thank you, Raphael. I appreciate you getting away from your work desk for our wedding”, he said.

Raphael growled. “Well, it took you two long enough to actually pull through with it”, he shot back. “But well. Better late than never. I have a special… present for you. I thought it best not to just put it on the table with the other presents where everyone could see it.”

Raphael passed them an envelope, grinned one of his rare smiles and stepped back. Curious, Magnus opened it. Alec watched how his husband’s – _husband!_ – eyes bulged, then he started laughing.

“What is it?”, Alec asked and fished the content of the envelope out of the alpha’s hands. It was a single picture. Of Camille. In orange.

“The snake is in prison! Ha, that’s the best present _ever_ ”, Magnus exclaimed. Even Alec had to hold back a chuckle. “Come on, husband”, Magnus said, smiling broadly. “Let’s dance.”

Just at that moment a slow song started to play. The two of them swayed from one side to the other together, staying in their own little world. Magnus rubbed Alec’s back. “How do you feel, love?”

Alec hummed. “Amazing.”

The alpha sighed, pushing his nose towards his mate’s neck. His hands moved from Alec’s back to his lower belly. It was slightly swollen, already showing that a new life was growing within it. “I love you”, Magnus mumbled. “So much. And our little family.”

Alec closed his eyes. “Me too, Magnus. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it.  
> Thank you all for reading, it's been a pleasure for me and I hope you enjoyed this little story as well. A special thanks to all of you who left kudos, bookmarked the story and left a comment.   
> If you haven't done so so far then I would really appreciate it if you leave me a comment now that the story is finished ;)  
> I might write some oneshots about the Lightwood-Bane family in the future, we will see. My new story will start within the next few days, I hope you'll like that one as well.


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